How Does It Feel: Melbourne University O-Week

I went to uni for a while so I’m about as special as 99.9 percent of everybody else my age, only slightly less hireable because I studied arts. Like you’d imagine, being back on campus for the first time since graduation filled me with a mix of nostalgia and relief as I remembered why I was so happy to leave. Plus it was orientation week, so everyone was out showcasing their weird hobbies. It felt like going to your parents’ house and finding out they've turned your room into a sex dungeon. But that’s enough about my feelings. Starting a new year of tertiary education has got to be a minefield of emotions. Here are some of them.

VICE: How does it feel?
*Climate Change Girl: It's good to be back for the third time.*

How do you feel when people say climate change doesn't exist?
It's so annoying. My dad says that all the time. Like over breakfast. Is today an example of climate change or just shitty weather?
That's just Melbourne.

How does it feel?
Frank: The feeling is exciting. Seeing new things, experiencing different cultural things and new communities. There's Chinese theatre, Mahjong, Star Trek.There's also a lot of theatre things that I'm excited to get involved with.

Are you excited to learn?
Yes! I'm learning German for starters. There's also a yoga club that I'm going to join. I did some at the gym, which was really good until we got a new teacher who was elitist and made us do all these crazy things with ropes and stuff. She was like push a little harder, little harder. It was not casual at all. Do you love Savers?
Yeah. The best one I think was in Dandenong but it closed down. I went there one time and it was gone! We asked the cake shop next door what happened and they didn't know.

What's with the onsies?
Lily: It's the SSS (Science Students Society) pub crawl and they highly encourage dressing up.
Lachie: Onesies are fookin' great! How does it feel?
Lily: It's very comfy.
Lachie: It's fluffy. It's like a full-body pajama suit. You know you’re crossdressed right now. Has anyone asked to pat your joey?
Lachie: They just try to get at the sweets in my pocket. You're like a single dad.

What committee are you on?
Keep calm and believe in God girls: The Cantonese Christian Fellowship. What do you study?
Science.

How does it feel?
Dane Douglas (Karate Club): It's good. You meet a lot of people, a lot of first years.

Fresh meat. What are you up to today?
Well I'm part of the karate club, so I'm telling people about that. When I first started doing it I was too forceful with people, I was up in their face going join karate! and they were looking at me with crazy eyes. So I think I need to scale it back a bit. Do you ever tell girls that they should learn karate so that they don't get raped on campus?
That could be a good teaching strategy. We don't get as many rapes at Melbourne Uni than at places like Monash (Uni). They did a study about that I'm pretty sure. How does it feel?
Sengkeat (Chinese theatre group): Ok, but it's a bit hard to find people interested in our theatre group. What's the costume?
It's a costume from one of our productions last year. It was actually an alien with a mask, but it's hard to breathe with it on. What's the difference between Chinese and English theatre?
The language mainly. I guess it's pretty similar. How does it feel?
Dhanish (Kendo Club): Kendo? It makes me feel energised and refreshed. Sometimes we have morning sessions and you come there feeling tired and leave really woken up. Can we punch you in the chest?
You can but you'll probably hurt yourself. It's made of reinforced bamboo. Is it just for fun or can you use it to kill people?
It's usually just for fun, but you could theoretically use it to kill someone. Would you be more into a girl if she could do Kendo?
It's relatively rare so I'd definitely admire them for sticking at a sport that's so dominated by men. Would it be a good thing if a girl dominated you?
If you're into that yeah. I think so. We met a karate club guy before - who would win in a fight?
It would be an imbalanced fight, because we have a hard stick.

How does it feel?
James (Mountaineering Club): It's really good actually. This area particularly is awesome with everyone on the grass. Has your upper-body strength gotten better through rock climbing?
Well I don't actually do much rock climbing. I have good arms from kayaking.

Clara Boneaventure & Aeddan ap Andraes (their medieval names)

What club are you part of?
Aeddan ap Andraes (medieval name): It's called SCA. It's basically Archery, heavy combat, fencing, brewing, feasting and dancing. Everything that's medieval. Do you get into computer games?
Aeddan: I do. A lot of people in the SCA are gamers. How does it feel?
Aeddan: How much adrenalin do you want?! You get the full armour on with sword and shield, bow, the arrows start flying and shields clashing and it's like 'wheyyyy!'.
Clara Boneaventure (medieval name): It's a lot of fun. I'm not a fighter myself but every day's a costume party!

Would you prefer to live now or back then?
Aeddan: They didn't have internet access. And I probably wouldn't have survived to adulthood back then, so I'd say that I'm happier now. Bring on the 23rd century.

Previously - We Went to the Alan Border Medal Presentation Because Someone Invited Us

Follow Karl on Twitter:@karlhenkell