SAN DIEGO CHARGERS AT INDIANAPOLIS COLTSI don't like either one of these teams all that much. The Chargers have won big games here before, but I can't get too jazzed about this. Indianapolis won't lose at home this time. I'd go get a burrito during this game or start looking at my taxes.Indianapolis 35 - San Diego 17JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS AT NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTSThis game is going to be good and weird and I cannot wait for it. If you are a bookie in the New York area and you're gonna give me two touchdowns, I got a couple hundred to spend on the Jaguars. Because while they will not win, they are going to creep around the shrubs for a few hours like a spurned boyfriend in a Lifetime movie.They have a running back who even when he is not running with the ball, will demolish even the most 'roided out freaks in the game:That's it. I hate the AFC. And I basically packed my NFC picks with all my intense nougat, anyway. I know reading that last sentence made you angry. It depressed the living shit out of me to write it. But that's good. 'Cause I need you to sharpen your brain for a second here and zero in on this. I am adding a link to YET ANOTHER VIDEO (embedding is sadly disabled) because this guy is wearing a Dallas Cowboys t-shirt, and he has probably not been outside of his basement for quite a while unless someone leaned in his window and whispered "Softball game," or "rocket launch," or "Edgar's stuck."I believe that this guy has had to tell a close friend on more than one occasion that if they don't chill out they are going to, "masturbate their way right out of a goddamn job." But I could be wrong. Anyway, I want this video to get 1 million hits by Valentine's Day. And it ain't gonna happen here. That means you need to link to it on your blog. Your stinking GG Allin blog. If it does not get 1 million hits by Valentine's Day, there is a good chance that I will walk into a Dallas-area Applebee's on Valentine's Day and attempt to get into physical altercations with every couple on the premises (unless someone looks way tougher than me, or they are clearly enjoying their meal), then euthanize myself by choking on a scallop and pushing away anyone who tries to be a hero. (If you work at a Dallas-area Applebee's, put yourself on high alert. Start eating more yogurt. Do some chin-ups. And tell corporate I'm not tickled with the new direction.)UNRELATED: Malibu-area real estate agent (and ex-NFLer) Brian Bosworth has not responded to my email, asking if he ever sees Axl Rose around there.Patriots 27 - Jaguars 22JEFF JOHNSON
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