After last month's election between two pudgy 70-somethings, resulting in the victory of the marginally-less barfy Romano Prodi as the new Italian Prime Minister, the debate last week shifted to the election of the President of the Republic. What better candidate than the winner, the adorable Giorgio Napolitano? He's a jolly ex-communist. At the youthful age of eighty, he's a sweet old man who elicits no response whatsoever from anybody in the world. He'll be eighty-seven when the mandate ends. More importantly, he's the spitting image of famed mobster Corrado "Junior" Soprano.But maybe there's more to it than a simple physical resemblance. Inside sources claim Napolitano shouted "I'm the motherfuckin' fuckin' one who calls the shots around here!" in Prodi's face upon taking office, and various witnesses have overheard him referring to the First Lady as his "whooah". Seeing an overweight photographer leaning on his presidential vehicle, the hon. Napolitano asked, "Hey, ever consider a salad?" to which the photographer replied, "Pardon, Mr.President?", after which the President just LOST it, belching out a "Stop leaning on my fuckin' car before you fuckin' flip it over, you fat fuck!" So don't be surprised the next time someone tells you the Italian government is made up of mafiosi.