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Hey Ron! - My Girlfriend Gets the Worst Tattoos

You know that show LA Ink? Well, it sucks, and so does the conundrum this week’s letter-writer got himself into. You see, he’s got a girlfriend who he loves with all his heart but she is continually running off by herself to get inexcusably retarded...

You know that show LA Ink? Well, it sucks, and so does the conundrum this week’s letter-writer got himself into. You see, he’s got a girlfriend who he loves with all his heart but she is continually running off by herself to get inexcusably retarded tattoos. They’re so bad he’s considering leaving her. As always, our man Ron’s got the situation on lock. Hey Ron! My girlfriend keeps getting bad tattoos. After her first one (a terrible blob on her hip) I let her know that she should take time in choosing a design and artist. Since then she has gotten two more, one of which is a misquoted song lyric. Evidently she doesn't even listen to this band. It seems like she is putting this shit on her body without any consideration or forethought. I love her, but am genuinely embarrassed by her tattoos. I realize that her tattoos are a very shallow reason to break up with a girl, but there is no way I would have started dating her post-tattoos. I feel like her body art advertises immaturity and naivety. What should I do? I like tattoos. I have three myself, but they were well thought-out and I went to a very good tattoo artist. I have one that just says “Pharaoh,” another that’s a drawing of a pharaoh, and one with the eyes of sun god Ra. I’ve been called Pharaoh for a very, very, very long time—it’s my nickname—so I think it’s completely logical that I got these tattoos. The name demands respect—people don’t forget that. I run into people I haven’t seen for years and they are like, “Aren’t you Pharaoh, that guy Pharaoh?” It works out because my tattoos are nice and kind of sexy just to say the least. When you start getting tattoos that don’t make any sense, it reflects back on you; if your tattoos don’t make sense then apparently you don’t make a lot of sense when you’re talking or in anything you do in life. She picked you to date and hopefully that’s something she did right. I’m not totally sure how to go about the tattoo because if she is going to continue to get misquoted tattoos or spirit-of-the-moment tattoos then maybe she found you in a spirit of moment and then there you go—your answer is right there. You can leave her but I wouldn’t leave a girl for just a bad tattoo. I would leave her for bad breath but not bad tattoos. Maybe she’s bipolar; maybe she’s dyslexic, I don’t know. She’s supporting a band she doesn’t know and she doesn’t know the lyrics? That’s like me getting some Peter Frampton or some Bee Gees lyrics when I really don’t know too about Peter Frampton or the Bee Gees. If you decide to stay with her, make sure you accompany her to the tattoo parlor whenever she decides to get one. If she is doing it without you being there then there’s something else to it. Maybe she likes just being different and being odd and weird. Then you need to look in mirror and see how odd and weird you are. Maybe y’all match. Love, Ron