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Vice Blog

NEW YORK - CELL PHONE ANNIHILATED

Friday night, the phone was broken. Annihilated. We figured we were going easy as we switched it to vibrate, immersed it in a bowl of water, then put the bowl in the freezer Friday morning. By evening, it was cold fucked. We laid it out to dry all weekend hoping it'd revive, but nope. It's bullshit.

It's supposed to be waterproof and able to withstand the cold, for--the ad copy really says this--if you are snowboarding. But will you look at this? The motherfucking BASTARD piece of SHIT is dead. I mean, talk about lowering your standards and getting bitten in the ass by a midget on a speed date after you tell him you love him. We're sure you see where we're going with that. We were ready to go all the way with this phone thing. We didn't give a shit. We liked it. You like what you like. Fuck it, go figure: all that.

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