In Perth a lack of Seedsman foreshadowed a lack of Crows, while in Geelong, the Cats dispatched their inner Demons giving Roos a giant turd on his record where the sign-off should be.
West Coast beat Hawthorn but lost Natainui, and down in Tassie, North had another almost-but-not-quite against Sydney.
The Bulldogs hold off Collingwood and North gets a Hawks thumping but as always, there's more to these AFL matches than the results.
After Richmond's effort last week, it's kill or be killed against the Pies at the MCG. As for Hawks vs Demons, picking a likeable underdog was like choosing between William Randolph Hearst and Otto von Bismarck.
Meanwhile at Manuka Oval the Giants plan to break a record number of Richmond supporters' hearts. After a detour through Damien Hardwick's violently constricting anus.
It's loud, obnoxious, and not even decades of failure can cure it.
The Pies are embarrassed at a poo in the pantaloons type of level while the match at Adelaide Oval featured nearly as much blood as wind.
There were touches of utlra-violence in Dockers v Cats while a first quarter flurry against the Saints left the Demons look more shocked than elated
Examining the Learnt Helplessness of Richmond, Collingwood, Fremantle, St Kilda and Footscray AFL Fans
'Fuck this' and head shaking are common responses and can strike from nowhere.
Recapping Hawks V Port and Swans V Cats in the sport known as Australian Rules Football
Port had the Tigers' measure and the Bulldogs dropped sweet scat all over the hometown Swans.
This week, the Spew reviews Crows v Roos and Pies v Dockers.