Howdy, Carl! Whatcha up to?
Dad, will you help me with my math homework?
Psst! Hey, pal, c'mere here a sec!
One day, GG Allin took his son to the park. They started tossing some shit around, and, well, things got really messy when shit hit someone in the face.
Raymond, you need to talk to your son Geoffrey. He won't stop shitting in his pants.
E.T. was roaming the street robbing homies, when he ran into a dealer and asked him for Reece's Pieces. It didn't end well, but you probably already know that, because this is Johnny Ryan's page, not some 1980s Steven Spielberg kids movie.
"That's Rob Kilrape! The most vicious criminal in the city!"
"Good evening, welcome to the six o'clock Nuge. I'm Ted Nugent. Today, Ted Nugent shot a stupid chipmunk in the face. Ted Nugent is live on the scene. Ted?"
On my breaks I like to strap on these springs and bounce around the woods.