Sports Staff
A Complete Dipshit's Guide to the Roger Clemens Verdict
We realize this whole thing is all still a bit confusing, so we’re here to answer all of your idiotic questions about what exactly went down.
God Hates Beds
This week God spoke to former NFL player Kevin Ellison and told him to torch his bed with a blunt.
Boxing Is Sooooooo Fixed
Here’s everything important that happened in every sport last week, even the boring ones. If it’s not in here, it’s unathletic.
Is Shaq the Worst? Or Just Kind of the Worst?
Is the former NBA superstar and leading man of "Kazaam" really that bad at being himself?
Rondo and the Old Dudes Just Keep Winning
You wonder if there’s something intrinsic these geezers have that others don’t.
The Clippers Are So Dumb
Here’s everything important that happened in every sport last week. If it’s not in here, it’s unathletic.
Exclusive: The Dolphins Will Win the Super Bowl
A fictional beat reporter gives us a sneak preview of HBO's "Hard Knocks."
If You Don’t Like the Spurs, You’re a Wall-Eyed Moron
The Spurs don’t deserve their rough reputation among idiot half-awake check-in basketball fans. They're the NBA’s model franchise.