Here’s what to do this weekend in and around the world (Australia) ✰ OCTOBER WEEK 1 ✰
If you haven’t had Tammy’s börek, get out from under that sad rock you call home, immediately, and come into the light.
If you don't find these people sexy then A) I don't care and B) get a grip.
Featuring: A Totally Unscientific Report on Whether Australians Care About the Queen
Enter: the hump day date.
Something about the brightly lit, glitzy, open space made me feel rich, famous and charming – all the best ways to feel on a date.
"I didn’t rob that store, so you guys can jam it up your arse."
Nobody said it was easy.
"I don't want the fact that we were high to affect the fact I'm talking about aliens because WE ALL SAW THE SAME THING."
I've been ordained for a great and terrible purpose.
A Tinder dude essentially didn't leave my house for two weeks... in hindsight they were probably homeless and not in fact avoiding the Russian mafia.