Cliterature
Wet Goddess
A memoir about a man's steamy love affair with a dolphin has been churning around the global media hype machine this week.
The Very Virile Viking, Part II
Mental masturbation often simultaneously stimulates my sub-abdominal muscles to the point where by the time I’ve figured out the right algorithm to apply to a recursive function, I find myself unwittingly dry humping my desk.
The Very Virile Viking, Part I
I've found it. The Holy Grail of Cliterature. The Magnum Opus that transcends all preconceived notions of reason and propriety (plot and dialogue too, actually) to win the crown of the best fucking chick porn you'll ever read.
Gray Pleasures
Funny how activities that once seemed horrific/repulsive quickly become desirable once you muster up the balls to give them a go ("Is it weird that I liked his finger up my butt? Is it really weird?" a friend asked me last week, her eyes pooling with...
Birch in the Boudoir
Birch In the Boudoir is supposed to be a classic example of French flagellation literature--a genre that the cheese-eating surrender monkeys apparently adored back in the day. Instead, this short novel is more like a rapist's handbook.
Sins of the Cities of the Plains
The Sins of the Cities of the Plains--the first instance of gay pornographic literature--reminded me of the adolescent sex talks that everyone has when they first start getting laid.
120 Days of Sodom
By processing the words in this sentence, you are submitting to me. You little bitch.
120 Days of Sodom
Aren't reading and writing essentially acts of dominance and submission? The train of thought imposed by the author must be, by default, followed by her audience. By processing the words in this sentence, you are submitting to me. You little bitch.
Venus in Furs
This week I'm reviewing the book that spawned the word "masochism." There's a curious interrelation between cruelty and sex. Everyone surreptitiously wants to be treated like shit sometimes--especially Austrian history professors from the 19th century.
Beg for Mercy
I chose this week's selection because its cover features a Na'vi chick sending smoldering looks, and it shares the same title as G-Unit's first album. Wouldn't it be amazing if someone made a porno of 50 Cent poppin' them thangs, Avatar style?
The Cat's Fancy
What if having sex with animals is the final frontier? After all, it wasn't too long ago that people were convinced masturbation was an ontic evil and sodomy a danger to human civilization. Could bestiality be... the best? How would it feel to have my...
Demons Prefer Blondes
My Filipina nanny used to make me shit my pants with her stories about pontianaks—terrifying ghosts of women who died during childbirth, only to come back and tear the dicks off of horny men.