Dos & Don'ts

  • SCUM DADZ, Fat Jew's New Web Series Where He Does Drugs in Front of a Baby

    Our most famous DOs & DON’Ts caption writer, the Fat Jew, has a new web series that illustrates exactly what happens when a filthy degenerate decides reproduction is a good idea. It’s called SCUM DADZ.

  • Venice Beach

    It's the premiere of our new DOs & DON'Ts show! Cultural assassins Fat Jew and Cat Marnell commandeer a surveillance van to make fun of the best dressed and hottest messes on the streets of Venice Beach. No one is safe.

  • Tonight the DOs & DON’Ts Come to LA

    We know we already had a party in honor of the DOs & DON'Ts book in New York back in July, but we’re throwing another one because 1) The brand-new e-book edition is coming out and 2) We like throwing parties.

  • DEAR VICE - LOCKING DOORS

  • Dos & Don'ts

    Girls can wear cheap shit if their shoes are expensive.

  • Dos & Don'ts

    Rolling on E can be a bit of a bummer if you're not the center of attention and nobody wants to make out with you. But when you're the master of ceremonies and you're lying there like a Native American Thor with at least three viable pussy options...

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  • Dos & Don'ts

    When you're over 25, you're ready for a bit of droop factor in the tit department. Not sagging weasel heads but a cute little-brown nippled "fuck you" to the world of fake tits. Some girls know that and they send out secret boob messages from inside...

  • Dos & Don'ts

    Could you have more shit hanging off your purse, please? No, I'm serious.

  • Dos & Don'ts

    We rip the piss out of more people.

  • Dos & Don'ts

    The longer Johnny Cash lies dead the more obvious it becomes the Man in Black rules everything around us. As his last days approached, the country-music industry blew him off and told him he was no longer relevant to the modern world. Then he got...

  • Dos & Don'ts

    And we thought last month's "Paki Wearing a Skrewdriver Belt Buckle" was as good as it gets.

  • Dos & Don'ts

    What do you do for a living? "Oh, I own a demolition company that uses the lyrics from 'War Pigs' as its motto."