Girl Writer
I Had a Sex Slave, and It Was Awesome
He ran my errands, massaged me on command, and requested to sleep on the floor. It was my first time being in a romantic partnership where I truly felt like I could be myself.
Online Dating Made Me Realize I'm a Shallow Person
Did my obsession with the tastes of my online suitors hurt my chances of finding love?
My Abysmal Failure to Have Sex on a Cruise Ship
I had high hopes for a high-seas adventure that would involve boning, but the ship turned out to be inhabited mostly by elderly people and an unfortunately-named band.
My Anxiety Is Making Me Nervous
I told myself at an early age that it was OK for me to carry around the constant worry and never-ending feelings of fear. I was wrong.
My Neverending Struggle to Accept My Weight
After more than a decade of struggling to come to terms with my body, I finally feel OK.
I Can't Decide Whether I Want to Have a Sex Slave
Men keep trying to get me to dominate them—financially, physically, and emotionally. The only problem is, I don't even know if I actually enjoy it.
Is Success Having a Stranger Tattoo Something I Wrote on His Body?
Some guy is getting a quote of something I wrote tattooed on his body. This is a dream come true for a younger me, but now I'm not sure if I'd call this success.
The Stages of Grief for the Chronically Single
I had to go through a bunch of emotions before I could finally end up at my current state of being not at all worried about my perpetual singleness. Those emotions look strangely like the traditional stages of grief.
I'm a Grown-Ass Woman Who Reenrolled in High School for a Day
I learned about biology, bathrooms, mediocre lunches, and film history while gawking at just how crazily young all my classmates looked.
What It's Like to Have Mommy Issues
Having a Jewish mother is like having a mother times ten. Not only does she have to know what you're doing today, but she also has to know whom you're doing it with, why, where, and will it cost money?
What I've Learned from My Pathetic Crushes
Crushes are fucking pathetic, but they've made me the person I am today.
A Woman's Guide to Online Dating for Men
Online dating is rough. My inbox is flooded with messages like “Can I suck a cucumber out of your butt?” and “Biggest dick you’ve sucked?” Here's some advice: Don't be that guy. Follow this guide instead.