Jerking Off
The Dangers of Masturbation
In extreme cases, self-pleasuring can actually fracture your dick and rupture your arteries. Be careful out there.
You Don't Want to Watch This Guy Pull Your Pork
Curious about how artificial insemination works on farms, I spoke to to a guy who gives handjobs to pigs and then sells their sperm off to be slipped into sows.
The 'Don’t Jerk And Drive' Campaign Was Pulled Because No One Was Mature Enough to Handle It
The PSA was supposed to grab the attention of drivers, but it sounded like it was talking about grabbing something else.
The Perils of Jerking Off in the Dial-Up Era
Kids these days have it so easy. When I first started buffering my banana in the 90s, porn was only available via dial-up internet on the shared family computer.
The Gloriously Stupid History of Sex in Video Games
When I look back at those naked Lara Croft pictures from 1997, I can’t understand why anyone would bother. They seem like an actual obstacle to jerking off. Thankfully, we’ve gotten a little better at this shit as time’s gone by.
Owning Porno Used to Mean Something, Damnit
The internet really changed the way people masturbate. Today, if you want to see someone naked you just press the buttons and poof, there’s a boob. But as a teenager I remember thinking of pictures of naked women as a kind of secret relic, something...
The Man Behind the World's Most Famous Fake Vagina
Steve Shubin wants us to talk more about touching ourselves. He's baffled as to why dildos have become an acceptable brunch conversation topic while male sex toys remain taboo.
Dipping My Dick in the NoFap Movement
As I write this, it’s been over 30 days since I last masturbated. Consciously giving up jerking off is a lot harder than I thought it would be.
The Jerkoff Diaries: Part II
I honestly have no idea what blueballs are or whether they exist at all, scientifically speaking. But on Saturday I experienced something that may have been them. Saturday morning started unusually. With a blowjob from my wife. Well, almost a blowjob...
The Jerkoff Diaries
My back hurts. My eyes are dry. And my neck is tighter than my asshole. The only thing more embarrassing than blogging (BLOGGING!) about trying to stop masturbating is blogging about being constipated from not masturbating.
American Government Employees Sure Do Love Porn
That’s right: gigabytes of filth are being downloaded from a government-controlled network onto government-issued computers and consumed during government-billed hours. These are your tax dollars at work, people.