Kids These Days
Kids these days have it so easy. When I first started buffering my banana in the 90s, porn was only available via dial-up internet on the shared family computer.
People are panicking over "Cloud Nine," a new synthetic drug that has sent dozens of kids to the hospital.
Because looking up numbers while you're drunk is just too much work.
I tried it out for myself, ignoring all the warnings in the media about it being dangerous and potentially deadly. No one died, but it was way, way harder than we thought and just made my friend Ian eager to try some drug that wasn't a science-fair...
I finally got an iPhone a few weeks ago. I think what sealed the deal was when I was out skating with some old bros and one of my unemployed/unemployable friends pulled his iPhone out of his pocket to Instagram some nonsense.