Lionel Messi
FIFA Lifts Messi's Four-Match Ban for Insulting a Referee
Messi would have missed three other qualifiers, and would have only returned for their final qualifier against Ecuador in October.
Peruvian Police Reportedly Seize Over A Ton of Lionel Messi-Branded Cocaine
Clearly marketed at those of us who want to stay up until four in the morning talking shit about tiki-taka.
Peruvian Police Reportedly Seize Over a Metric Ton of Lionel Messi-Branded Cocaine
The world is about to wave goodbye to over a tonne of gak worth around £73m, the marketing of which would have been lost on unappreciative nostrils anyway.
Unpacking The Logic Behind Calling a Footballer ‘The New Thierry Henry’
When Kylian Mbappe faces Manchester City on Wednesday evening, he will bear the burden of comparison to a true great. This is inherently unfair on a young player, and also based on a deeply flawed rationale.
Messi Has No Regard for Defenders' Feelings As He Nets Two Pure Golazos
Messi has a way of making difficult goals look smooth as milk.
The Cult: Ronaldinho
Ronaldinho was a footballer unlike any other, and a showman par excellence. For his infectious exuberance, warmth and flair, we induct him into The Cult.
Messi Just Achieved Self-Actualization With This Immaculate Free Kick
Lionel Messi will surely be canonized soon for this saintly act.
Deconstructing The Arbitrary Debate Over ‘World Class’ Footballers
It seems that not a week goes by without an argument over a footballer’s ‘world class’ status. Here, we call out that frame of reference for being completely fucking pointless.
Kid Who Made a Messi Jersey out of a Plastic Bag Finally Meets His Hero and Won't Let Go
He finally got to meet his hero, and he followed him around everywhere.
Kim Jong-un Reportedly Wants North Korea To Produce The Next Lionel Messi
The Supreme Leader has got bored with intercontinental ballistic missiles, and is now focussing on nurturing North Korea’s answer to Lionel Messi instead.
Messi Has Brief Dalliance with Perfection on Stunning Free Kick
What else is there to say about Messi?
Valencia Fan Hits Neymar and Messi in the Head with a Water Bottle After Late Barcelona Win
Don't be surprised if you discover soon that Valencia fans have been penalized for the incident.