Forget coffee. Today is a day of remembrance for something far more important: when the Devil himself pissed all over Scotland's entire blackberry supply. Today is National Poisoned Blackberries Day.
It might just take this hilarious and frankly disgusting collection of short stories to provide us with a true understanding of the Cameron years.
Two Belgian scientists have created a machine that will allow them to turn human urine into drinkable water, and they are using that pee water to brew beer.
"Public toilets are a type of first aid, in a way."
At last men can piss just about anywhere!
Lessons in life from a literal pisstaker.
Medical staff noticed yeast growing in the girl's intravenous drip after the nine-year-old was admitted to the hospital with renal failure.
Spitman was a West London council estate myth until the mobile phone footage turned up.
The 55-year-old from Glasgow has had his license revoked after the passengers complained to police.
The paint is specially made to deflect liquid, which means that anyone who dares pee on painted surfaces will get a brutal mist of piss ricocheting back at them.
Danish music festival Roskilde has a so-crazy-it-just-might-work plan to "beercycle" your piss into a lovely pilsner that you can drink at a future festival. Golden showers, indeed.
"Everything is getting so saturated that all you can do is make fun of it."