The Mercy Rule
That's So Jordan
Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player ever, and that being more or less beyond dispute does not make it something basketball fans are less excited to talk about. But in the decade since his last NBA game, talking about His Airness has become...
That's So Jordan
Michael Jordan is turning 50 and, after all those years of dominating the hardwood, it's starting to show.
National Shouting Day
National Signing Day, the least telegenic televised "event" of all time, is a giddy beef auction presided over by the psychotic golf dads who coach high-level college football covered as if it were a moon landing.
Why Breitbart Sports Will Fail, I Hope
It’s only fitting that after a career spent treating politics like a long football game between Black Nazi Communists and the Founding Fathers, Andrew Breitbart has posthumously lent his name to a sports-news website.
The Lakers' Unreality Show
There’s a certain ugly thrill in watching these Lakers fail, but it’s not a lot of fun—it’s tough to take much joy from watching all these great players playing so poorly and unhappily, even with the leavening knowledge that their ill-tempered...
The Lakers' Unreality Show
The Lakers have quickly become one of the most-entertaining messes the NBA has seen in ages.
Hall of Lame
Like talk-radio types, Baseball Hall of Fame voters are blithely holding others to impossible standards in the most self-righteous way possible, and define “getting tough” as “accusing people you barely know of being cheaters instead of dealing with a...
Taken
There’s no reason why anyone should talk about or listen to other people talking about sports for hours and hours every day. There is not necessarily that much to say about men running and catching balls under the best of circumstances, and necessarily...
The Pelicans’ Grief
Team names work best when they’re both goofy and ambitious. The very words Utah Jazz conjure someone pouring a quart of milk into a clarinet; the idea of a Sacramento King mostly just gives you the image of a winking Guy Fieri sitting on a pepperoni...
Someone's Super Bowl
This is how we wind up with something like Saturday's SEC Championship Game, which is an orgy of crass bloat and khaki-clad excess to some, something much more important than the Super Bowl to a great many others, and objectively a good deal stranger a...
Miami Blues
In some ways, the Miami Marlins are Florida—overleveraged, overbuilt, and cruising blithely towards foreclosure while being ruled by a clownish, childish, tone-deaf, permanent cadre of special-needs elites. Less metaphorically, they’re a fucking bummer.