Volume 13 Issue 8

  • The First Annual Story Awards - Romance

    It was my birthday, and I was sitting at work. I always like to do something on my birthday-I hate birthday parties, but I like to do something else to spoil myself.

  • I Got Myself Shot

    Bouts of drinking tend to end with either a bang or a whimper-rarely, however, both.

  • The First Annual Story Awards - Wtf?!?

    When I broke up with my boyfriend I was left tenderhearted and frail. He cheated on me with some fat bitch and it seemed as though our relationship had run its course. On the upside, I had lost so much weight that my favorite bikini now fit me.

  • I Want My Dvds

    We did it again. First there was SCTV, then Kids in the Hall, then Nardwuar, then Trailer Park Boys, then Fubar, and now there’s Kenny vs. Spenny, two Canadian roommates competing solely for the joy of humiliating the loser.

  • Tell Us About Your First Time

    I fucked my best friend and it was so bad. He was in there for like one second. Barely anything. He stuck the tip in and started crying and went limp. Then he told me that the only reason I got with him was because I was "shallow and horny."

  • Tidbits

    Every month we get at least three of these things. What do you want us to do? Make a joke about kids doing crack? Kids do crack all the time.

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  • Records

    An overfed and under-talented party tart clumsily deconstructing gender dynamics is as threatening to the mainstream as Weird Al doing a Toby Keith parody—and certainly far less entertaining.

  • Grimewatch

    You should all be happy to know that Scorcher, the finest MC the grime scene has ever produced (in our opinion) has been released from jail and is currently on road working on his debut album.

  • Powerhouse Drunk

    U have good locations for do's and don't's,but u should take powerhouse off of bar list as a hollywood hipster bought it,and changed it around.

  • The First Annual Story Awards - Ewww!!

    I was 19 and living in a glorified toilet block with two mates-Liam who didn't really live with us but kept his mattress in the lounge and paid rent sometimes, and Big Ben who was the complete opposite: A giant hermit with a surly disposition.

  • The First Annual Story Awards - Heavy Shit

    This must have been about 25 years ago. I was 18 and I was getting wasted with my born-again Christian pal and my Nazi skinhead pal. We had been drinking Labatt 50 all day and doing MDA (an early version of E).

  • Vice Fashion - Tattoo Stories

    The spider web on my face is a cover up of a spider web that was hand made by my sister. Before, it was a mess. It was another web. The ones on my head are from my sister as well. It was when I was a punk.