Wednesday morning, a stretch of Wisconsin Avenue NW in DC’s Tenleytown neighborhood turned into a two-hour standoff between the city’s bomb squad… and a $300 blowjob machine. Rush-hour commuters got detoured, a K-9 unit got deployed, and somewhere, a bomb technician had to put on a full protective suit for a device that, it turned out, was never going to hurt anyone (probably).

Around 7 a.m., someone left a “blue-and-black electronic device” with exposed wires in a trash can near a Tenleytown firehouse. A witness reported it to fire crews, and DC police’s Explosive Ordnance Disposal Unit (AKA the bomb squad) along with a K-9 team, responded and closed the road between 40th and Warren Streets while they investigated, halting traffic in both directions on the surrounding blocks for good measure.

After about two hours, officers cleared the item. According to the police incident report, the culprit was an “electronic sex portable pump device.” Social media sleuths went further, pegging the specific model as the “Zolo Blowbot,” a plug-in automatic stroker that retails for more than $350. No injuries were reported, and the road reopened around 9 a.m.

Given the state that the device was in, it seems that it was, ahem… well-loved. And to be fair, it could read as “suspicious” to a stranger who stumbles on it with zero context and an exposed power cord. The Blowbot is an 11-inch, corded automatic masturbator with 10 stimulation settings, adjustable suction, a warming function, and two interchangeable sleeves. 

3 Similar Toys You Can Buy Without Alerting DC’s Finest

If the Blowbot concept has you curious, there’s no shortage of comparable gear that’s unlikely to shut down your town’s commute—if used responsibly.