Amateur Hour is an advice column for people who are new to the professional world and are figuring out how work even… works.
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A good boss does want to know when you disagree with something, especially if you feel strongly and especially if you have information or context she might not have considered. But how you go about it matters. (That’s true of any disagreement at work, but it’s especially true when you’re dealing with your boss.)So, how do you know when something is worth expressing disagreement over? Times you should speak up include:
When To Speak Up
- when you feel strongly about something
- when you think you have info that would change your boss’s mind if she knew it (for example, if a client mentioned to you that she hates the sort of strategy your boss is now considering)
- when something would have consequences you’re not sure your boss is aware of (like adding significant time to a project or conflicting with another key priority)
- when you have expertise in the topic being discussed
- when you’re concerned something could be unsafe, unethical, or illegal
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How To Speak Up
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In fact, one of the best things you can do in your relationship with your boss is to think of yourself less an employee and more as a consultant—someone who’s not especially emotionally invested and is giving advice that your “client” (your boss) can then take or leave. These sorts of phrases will help you disagree respectfully and while still sounding collaborative:Once you’ve shared your thoughts, your manager may be convinced to see things your way—or she may not. If she’s not, then at that point you need to decide how important the issue is to you.If the issue is very serious (for example, concerns about discrimination or safety), you might need to go over her head. But with most other workplace disagreements, it’ll generally make sense to accept that you and your boss will just see things differently sometimes, and her position gives her the standing to make the final call.In some contexts, you can also try asking for a limited-time experiment. If your boss isn’t convinced you’re right and you feel strongly, sometimes it can make sense to say, “I really feel strongly about this. Would you be willing to allow me to try it this way for a few weeks and we can see how it goes?” It can be a lot easier for a manager to say yes to a short-term change than to commit to it forever. (You can’t do this every time, of course; save it for things that are really important to you.)And of course, all of this advice assumes you have a boss who’s open to input and dissenting viewpoints. If you don’t, you’ll need to pick your battles much more carefully. But most managers are open to hearing opinions other than their own—and the decent ones know listening to other voices can help them make better decisions.Get more good advice from Alison Green at Ask a Manager or in her book. Do you have a pressing work-related question of your own? Submit it using this form.
- “If we went in that direction, I’d worry about X.”
- “The way I was looking at it is X.”
- “My take was a little different. I thought X.”
- “Have we factored in X?”
- “We’d originally agreed to X, and that was important to me because of Y. Is there a way we can make that work?”
- “My experience with X has been a bit different! Could I share some of the concerns I’d have if we went in this direction?”