Weed

People Tell Us the Craziest Things They’ve Done While Stoned in Ten Words or Less

“Thought broken biscuit was dead, tried saving it with band-aid.”
19 April 2020, 10:36pm
crazy stoned stories
Image by Prianka Jain

This article originally appeared on VICE India.

Stoners are stereotypically known to be dazed and confused. Pop culture references often feature marijuana smokers as a lot which can’t string together coherent sentences, come up with generic ideas that appear refreshingly legendary only when they’re high, crack up at the lamest jokes, and whose sole mission is to track down munchies. While scientific studies do show that the psychoactive THC compound in cannabis can affect your brain’s cognitive functions, affecting memory, understanding and attention in the short term, recent studies have helped scientists confirm that smoking up does not, in fact, make you stupid.

Even so, we all have that one sharp-witted friend who will do and say the dumbest shit only after taking a bong rip. But, as animatedly out-of-bounds as their behaviour may become, there’s no denying that the shit stoners get up to when they’re high as kites can be pretty damn entertaining to watch from the sidelines.

So, we asked around to find out some of the weirdest, funniest, silliest stuff people have done while blazed out of their minds. And to keep up with the length of a stoner’s short attention span (or at least their temporarily fuzzy memory), we’ve broken down some of the wildest acts they’ve unleashed onto the world in ten words or less.

“Thought broken biscuit was dead, tried saving it with band-aid."

“Burnt someone’s nostril hair while lighting their joint.”

“Massacred a line of ants with my lighter.”

“Took a video smoking in Egypt’s most famous pharaoh’s tomb.”

“Got high in theatre parking lot, forgot to watch movie.”

“Mistook drizzling rain for waves on a beach.”

“Shot an hour-long Youtube video but forgot to press record.”

“Got munchies so bad, I swallowed Tabasco sauce.”

“Sat in front while friend steered scooter from behind, crashed.”

“Thought giving myself a DIY tattoo was a good idea.”

“Used a face cream as toothpaste.”

“Brushed my teeth with mosquito repellent.”

“Had to pee, took shower with clothes on instead.”

“Took a piss, forgot to take panties off.”

“Peed from a third floor balcony.”

“Ate seeds from the stash I had just cleaned.”

“Made cab driver take bong hit, he forgot car keys.”

“Quoted “I love you, Jack” to cheese sinking in soup.”

“Painted my walls with ash from my joint.”

“Thought moving ground was a hallucination, it was an earthquake.”

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VICE India in no way endorses the illegal usage of marijuana or other narcotics. The content above is intended for entertainment and informational purposes only, and is not meant to propagate the use of any illegal substance. See Terms of Use for more.