One of the fundamental experiences of growing up is earning an awful roommate story. On the other hand, being an awful roommate is also a fundamental part of being young and dumb. The tricky bit, however, is figuring out which category you fall into. Unfortunately, most of us never actually find out until a mutual friend tells us how much shit our old roommate talked in our absence.So the staff of VICE Canada reached into our dark roommate past and asked what they were like to live with. Here's what the people who are still willing to speak to them had to say.
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--love [redacted]During my time at University, I lived in a mint-green house formerly owned by notorious Holocaust denier Ernst Zundel with 11 other young men whom I love dearly. Here's what they think of me:FYI: Noisey, ballsy move turning your social media feed over to a guy who used to get noise complaints for playing the All-American Rejects too loud. That should work out well.
A Review of Dan Brioux by His roommates, Toronto, 2012–2015
- Steve: Dan took me to salad king when my girlfriend and I broke up. Then we watched the Simpsons. That's Dan in a nutshell. Good friend. Loves the Simpsons. Also, he would often steam his face with freshly cooked pasta and drink out of plastic cups. Let that be his legacy.
- Brendan: Dan is one seriously patient dude, considering he had a full band practicing every day directly above his room and has yet to murder anyone. He even comes out to our shows! What a guy.
- Eddie: Ask Dan to do his Owen Wilson impression, that'll really make his day.
- Sam: Ask Dan to do his Gord Downie impression, that'll really make his day. If there's one thing I learned from living with Dan, it's to always keep your chips in your own room.
- Jason: When Dan showed me Snoop Dogg rapping "Drop it Like it's Hot" over the Kirby theme song, I knew we would be best friends forever. That happened on the first day we met. I didn't become a man at my bar mitzvah. I became a man when Dan didn't have to tell me to take the trash out anymore.
- Griffin: Wednesday, October 28. Day 80 of impersonating Dan. Took his dad Bill out for lunch. We had a nice chat, but I feel as if we're growing more and more distant. He complimented me on my sweater. Griffin? Dan? Hard to tell anymore.
- Will: Dan would also always leave his dishes in our living room. He was the worst at that. Thanks for finally giving us a forum to publicly shame you, Dan.