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Music

True Facts About Every Band Playing Bonnaroo 2015

We've pulled together one fun piece of trivia about each artist so you can remember exactly who it is you're seeing no matter how many pot brownies you've eaten.

Bonnaroo, America's premier music and arts festival and premier venue for buying shrooms off some dude with beads in his beard, is back baby! It's going to be better than ever this year, or so you should tell yourself as you begin to condition your body for the event by not showering for days at a time this spring. Today, the festival announced its initial lineup (you can get tickets at bonnaroo.com Saturday at noon), and it is a doozy. So many great bands! So little time! How will you keep straight about who's on the bill? Easy. We've pulled together one fun piece of trivia about each artist so you can remember exactly who it is you're seeing no matter how many pot brownies you've eaten. With no further ado, here's the Bonnaroo 2015 lineup, in True Facts:

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Billy Joel
A 10-second clip of Joel buying Preparation-H was the first ever “viral video.”

Mumford & Sons
Mumford & Sons begin every concert by Marcus Mumford announcing the band will be playing songs from from their upcoming album Updog and then patiently wait for the entire audience to ask, “What’s updog?” in unison. It has only worked once, in Lansing, Michigan.

eDeadmau5
Deadmau5 always picks Kirby when playing Super Smash Brothers because it’s his way of overcoming a childhood phobia about getting gum stuck in his pubic hair.

Kendrick Lamar
Once took a Rorschach test in 2005 and described—word for word—what would happen in the 2008 Super Bowl.

Florence and The Machine
Singer Florence Welch coined the phrase “staycation.”

Bonnaroo photos by Michael James Murray

Robert Plant and The Sensational Space Shifters
Actually a lion, Robert Plant is able to sustain while on tour using a macrobiotic culture that he cultivates in a mason jar that he keeps in a sunny space on the tour bus.

My Morning Jacket
In addition to being the primary singer and songwriter for this popular rock and roll band, My Morning Jacket’s Jim James is also a licensed beekeeper whose signature catchphrase “Not the bees!” inspired the popular Nicolas Cage film The Wicker Man.

Bassnectar
There is only one known existing photo of Bassnectar. It’s owned by an elderly woman in Arkansas who lets locals look at it once a year.

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Alabama Shakes
Alabama Shakes’ rider explicitly states that their green room be stocked with a TV and a DVR full no fewer than 20 Nancy Grace episodes.

Childish Gambino
Before rap, Childish Gambino played Norm on the sitcom Cheers. He ad libbed the popular catchphrase, “Norm!”

Flume
He was born in 2011 in a TJ Maxx. It’s since been declared a national landmark. Not because he was birthed there but for an unrelated historical event.

Hozier
Hozier had a brief stint as “school bully” on The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, but was unable to continue in his role due to a scheduling conflict. The part was given to a little-known actor who would later go on to become TMZ’s third best camera guy.

Slayer
Slayer’s tour bus is stocked with every single Bob Hope and Bing Crosby buddy comedy, EXCEPT Road to Rio. If you have this one, please call them at (718) 215-5734.

Ben Harper & The Innocent Criminals
Ben Harper’s entire wardrobe is from Land’s End, and his favorite color is “Medium Quartz.”

Belle and Sebastian
Belle and Sebastian were originally a Christian death metal band. They made the switch one day in 1998 and no one has ever mentioned it.

Spoon
Hunted and chased by their eternal nemeses, Fork, this group of lonely misfits has remained a touring band out of necessity to survive.

The War on Drugs This is Jimmy Fallon in a wig.

STS9
Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Sound Tribe Sector 9. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before. And jam.

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Ben Folds
Ben Folds’ name is a complete sentence! Also, he murdered 14 people in 1996.

Atmosphere
Once an elaborate I Love Lucy tribute band, Atmosphere has since made songs about other classic sitcoms as The Honeymooners, The Munsters, and The Dick Van Dyke Show. He has tried to make songs about The Twilight Zone but was denied permission by the Serling family.

Atomic Bomb! Who Is William Onyeabor?
Not a single member of this band is able to curl their tongue.

Tears for Fears
Newt Gingrich’s favorite band.

Brandi Carlile
Brandi Carlile grew up Amish, started playing guitar on her Rumspringa, and has since been disowned by her people.

Twenty|One|Pilots
Have read every book recommended by Oprah’s club and often write lengthy hand-written letters back to Oprah reviewing the book. They think she’s read every letter they’ve ever sent.

The Bluegrass Situation SuperJam featuring Ed Helms & Special Guests
This originated as an episode of The Office that got rejected. Jim fell off the roof and died in the episode. Test audiences hated it, and it got scrapped.

Flying Lotus
Shapeshifter who gains energy from the fibrous leaves of palm trees. He cannot die.

Earth Wind & Fire
Earth and Fire have vanity license plates that say EARTH and FIRE, respectively. Wind waited too long, and his says LOVE2BLOW.

Caribou
When not performing as Caribou, Dan Snaith works in the Search Engine Optimization department at Pornhub. His biggest career accomplishment was making it easier for users to sort which porn stars are pregnant and which are just fat. He lives in Iowa with his three sons, all named Ralph Macchio.

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Gary Clark Jr.
Gary has crashed 16 Altimas. The dealer at Nissan is constantly suggesting a different car. Clark always responds, “They gotta learn eventually.”

SBTRKT
Real name Aaron Jerome; has never watched The Lion King to completion because he doesn’t believe that hyenas can be inherently evil.

Punch Brothers
Voted the top regional circus act in the Greater Ozarks region in 2012.

Medeski, Scofield, Martin & Wood
Actor Steve Martin was the original “Martin” in this band. After two albums and several tours, he told them he’d just been doing it “as a goof.”

Tove Lo
If you’ve ever hung out with Tove Lo, you know she’s one of those people who “knows a guy.”

Run the Jewels
Killer Mike and El-P play basketball with Makonnen every Tuesday night in Queens.

Dawes
These guys perform team building activities every Sunday afternoon in which they build and paint red barns and then tear them down afterwards.

G-Eazy
Although he uses Uber often, G-Eazy is conflicted about the ethical dilemma brought on by a private company trying to weasel its way around local bylaws for the sake of profit.

Trampled By Turtles
This band is behind the popular Twitter account @Seinfeld2000, which imagens what it like if Seinfeld still on TV today.

Sturgill Simpson
Impervious to cold weather, the Sturgill will swim for up to 12 miles to find and procreate with potential mates.

Moon Taxi
Notoriously bad tippers. They once tipped a waiter at Olive Garden with an iTunes gift card.

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AWOLNATION
Many know his hit song “Sail,” but he has made most of his money by creating the noise that plays when you get an email on an iPhone.

Sylvan Esso
Really good at rhyming, he owns over eight acres of tobacco fields which he uses to host his city’s annual medical marijuana exposition, which he refers to as the “Great Bakers and Attack o-Chills Marathon.”

Bela Fleck & Abigail Washburn
Bela Fleck composes all of the music for The Weather Channel.

Guster
In 1824, several members of the British nobility boarded a ship to the United States. One hundred and seventy years later, their descendants tracked each other down and formed a band. This is that band.

Jamie XX
Born with the name “Jamie ShitPissFuckCuntCocksuckerMotherfuckerTits,” Jamie XX adopted his stage name after an altercation with the British censorship board.

Against Me!
The original name of Against Me! was “Against Mel,” but the record was printed on a really old printer and the L looked like an exclamation point, so they just kept it. They still hate that motherfucker Mel, though.

Odesza
Habitually puts a bunch of those strings from a banana peel into a bowl and tries to get high from them.

SOJA
Once wrote an expletive-filled 5,000-word Tumblr post petitioning for a Bono solo album.

Jerry Douglas Presents Earls of Leicester
Due to their noble lineage, this band is locked in a blood feud with Guster, for the reasons discussed above.

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Bleachers
Everyone in this band has surprisingly brown assholes. That’s right, surprisingly brown.

Rudimental
Every Rudimental show is attended by their mascot, Nigel, who just stands there calling the whole thing “mental” in a British accent.

Mac DeMarco
Mac DeMarco is proud to say he’s never worn a new pair of underwear.

Tycho
Unable to ejaculate unless travelling at least 55 MPH.

The Very Best
At midnight on July 12 every year, a strange beacon lights up off the coast of Florida, its pulsating emissions seemingly a pattern—but one that nobody has even been able to decipher. The Very Best are the only people who know the source of this phenomenon.

Freddie Gibbs & Madlib
Known to have intense fart battles in their backstage trailers while on tour. Somehow, Action Bronson always wins.

Shakey Graves
Unable to place a drink down without a coaster for fear of psychological damages.

Shabazz Palaces
“Shabazz” is the guttural sound someone makes when you fill their palace with mustard gas ahead of your military coup.

Gramatik
Stayed underwater in a pool too long as a kid and came out dyslexic.


Mø was the host of Nickelodeon's GUTS and then, later, Global GUTS.

Unknown Mortal Orchestra
Got the name for their band from a used car salesman who was going through a divorce.

Jungle
Invented the “coke so white” Twitter meme.

Benjamin Booker
This is Brad Pitt’s musical side project.

Houndmouth
Once burned down a train station and got away with it because he doesn’t have fingerprints.

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The Growlers
They made it on the lineup by beating up a festival promoter named Terry.

Glass Animals
This was English humorist P.G. Wodehouse’s favorite band even though he died several decades before the band started.

Ana Tijoux
Unlike the average human body, which is 60 percent water, Tijoux’s body clocks in at just over 130 percent.

SZA
SZA is actually a character played by Tracy Morgan.

Courtney Barnett
Soulja Boy’s favorite singer.

Rhiannon Giddens
Won silver in equestrian at the 2008 Beijing Olympics.

Royal Blood
The 13th generation of this band.

Tanya Tagaq
Bonnaroo will be Tanya’s first time not seeing snow.

Woods
Hate camping but only wear Patagonia because they’re a bunch of posers.

Hurray For The Riff Raff
Made up their band name after watching Riff Raff Vines for an hour.

Iceage
This band is fronted by one of those blow up guys you’d see outside a used car dealership. You know those?

Temples
His grandfather owned the original patent for selfie sticks.

Between The Buried & Me
The band members met in a support group for people who are deathly afraid of balloons after they’ve been popped.

Rustie
Coaches an inner-city basketball team of blind kids. They have won zero out of their last 46 because he refuses to let them play in the disabled league.

Ryn Weaver
An aficionado of vintage axes, Ryn Weaver is often thought to own the most thorough collection of 1940s-era splitting mauls on the East Coast.

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Dopapod
Only organizes band practices through Snapchat.

Pokey LaFarge
This is a fictional one-man band from an episode of The Lone Ranger, reunited for the first time this year at Bonnaroo!

Priory
Priory is united by the knowledge that no one in the band has ever fucked, or even done hand stuff.

Bahamas
Ironically, Bahamas are legally not permitted in the Bahamas for writing threatening letters to select members of the Bahamian Parliament in 2001.

Strand of Oaks
Like their hero, Alex Trebek, this band will only respond to questions that are in the form of answers. They won’t even look at you if you phrase it otherwise.

Phox
Moonlights as an mp3 blog from 2007. Head over there for all relevant news pertaining to side projects fronted by various members of Wolf Parade.

Gregory Alan Isakov
The real frontman of Smash Mouth.

Brownout Presents BROWN SABBATH
Everyone in this band has surprisingly un-brown assholes. That’s right, surprisingly un-brown.

The Districts
An entire band formed around the idea that Sammy Hagar was actually the best Van Halen vocalist.

Madisen Ward & Mama Bear
Ursus Arctos Horribilis—or “Mama Bear” as she’s lovingly referred to by her bandmates—plays mandolin onstage while enclosed in a 12-foot high cage with reinforced steel bars.

DMA’s
This is DMX’s jam band, where swearing isn’t allowed.

Catfish & The Bottlemen
The lead singer, Catfish, is also a notary public.

Jon Cleary & The Monster Children
One of only 11 bands to ever be based on a Stephen King novel.

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Pallbearer
Their entire discography is only two singles. They are 182 minutes each.

Dej Loaf
This Detroit-based rapper has never eaten meat loaf.

Christopher Denny
Can afford the grueling, unlucrative life of a touring indie musician because his dad started Denny’s Diner. Their favorite menu item is the Diarrhea Delight.

Hiss Golden Messenger
Gary Busey is an honorary member of this band even though they’ve never told him or met him.

King Gizzard and The Lizard Wizard
Creed frontman Scott Stapp’s latest project where he challenges audience members to play flag football with him.

Jessica Hernandez & The Deltas
Really fucking good at Halo.

Unlocking the Truth
This band is in the tenth grade, which sounds impressive until you realize they’re actually 38 and have been left back a lot of times. Most of them work at the law firm Schwartz, Finkelstein, and Davis and are expected to be made partner this year. Congratulations to them.

And more to be announced!
Won the 2005 Grammy for Best Folk Album.

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