Cry-Baby of the Week: A Woman Faked Being Kidnapped to Get Out of Going to Work

It's time, once again, to marvel at some idiots who don't know how to handle the world:

Cry-Baby #1: Beverly Brooks

The incident: A woman didn't want to go to work.

The appropriate response: Finding another job or complaining about your current job until you retire or die (whichever comes first).

The actual response: She pretended she'd been kidnapped.

According to a report on Panama City's News Herald, Beverly Brooks (pictured above) failed to return from a break at her job as a nurse assistant in an area hospital early in the morning last Monday.

A concerned coworker reportedly called Beverly to ask where she was and if she needed a ride back to work. According to police, Beverly told the coworker that she was not returning to work as she was being held against her will by her boyfriend. As she said this, the coworker could allegedly hear the boyfriend in the background telling the woman she was not allowed out of his car.

The coworker called 9-1-1. This led to a reported six separate law enforcements taking part in a search for Beverly that lasted several hours.

She was eventually found in a car with her boyfriend. According to police, Beverly admitted that she had made up the kidnapping as she didn't want to return to work.

She and her boyfriend were both arrested on charges of false reports of commission of crime. So, presumably, she should get a few more days off work, at least.

Cry-Baby #2: Some students at Duke University

The incident: Some students at a university were asked to read the graphic novel Fun Home as part of a summer reading program.

The appropriate response: Reading it. Or Wikipedia'ing what it's about then pretending you read it.

The actual response: Several students refused to read the book, claiming the sex depicted in the book violated their religious beliefs.

As part of their annual summer reading program, Duke University in Durham, North Carolina provided incoming freshmen with a list of recommended books. One of the books on the list was Fun Home, an autobiographical graphic novel by Alison Bechdel which focuses on the author coming to terms with her homosexuality, as well her relationship with her father, who was a closeted homosexual.

According to a report on the Duke Chronicle, an incoming freshman named Brian Grasso made a post on the school's Class of 2019 Facebook page explaining why he was not willing to read the book. "I feel as if I would have to compromise my personal Christian moral beliefs to read it," Brian wrote.

The Chronicle reports that another student "could not bring herself to view the images depicting nudity," and another told the publication that he would not read it due to its "pornographic nature."

Brian, the student who made the Facebook post, also wrote an op-ed for the Washington Post earlier this week where he went into more depth about his decision not to read the book.

"After researching the book's content and reading a portion of it, I chose to opt out of the assignment," Brian wrote. "My choice had nothing to do with the ideas presented. I'm not opposed to reading memoirs written by LGBTQ individuals or stories containing suicide. I'm not even opposed to reading Freud, Marx, or Darwin. I know that I'll have to grapple with ideas I don't agree with, even ideas that I find immoral."

He added that he would not be reading the book because the Bible forbids people from looking at pornographic images. "My beliefs extend to pop culture and even Renaissance art depicting sex," he wrote.

Brian also believes that his professors have a duty to warn him when he might possibly be exposed to a boob: "And I believe professors should warn me about such material, not because I might consider them offensive or discomforting, but because I consider it immoral."

Who here is the bigger cry-baby? Let us know in this poll down here, please:

Previously: A school who sent a girl home because her collarbone was showing vs. a bunch of people who didn't get a car seat for cheap because of a pricing error.

Winner: It's a draw!!!

Follow Jamie Lee Curtis Taete on Twitter.