I Went to a Donald Trump-Themed Pee Party

In their efforts to stop Trump, it seems like people have tried everything: spells, showtunes, pussy hats, drag marches, blimps, the Mueller investigation, but nothing has worked. So it should come as no surprise that, last weekend, a group of dominatrixes in Los Angeles staged a protest against the president by dressing several subs as him and then peeing on them.

The pissers in question were the LA-based collective Dominatrixes Against Donald Trump (DAD); a group of pro-dommes and allies who say they’re working to expose the president’s hypocrisy. The event was one of several “Russian Hooker Pee Pee Parties” they’ve thrown as part of the web-based sex-talk program, the Dr. Susan Block Show. Inspired by the infamous Russia dossier, these pee-ins feature DAD members degrading, spanking and relieving themselves on willing men wearing Trump masks.

When I arrived at the Institute for the Erotic Arts, where the event was being filmed, Domme legend and one-time presidential “candidate” Mistress Tara Indiana was preparing by downing glasses of water. With almost 30 years of experience as a dominatrix, she’s like the Yoda of BDSM.

Nearby lurked the three Trump subs—one wearing a suit, one in a jester cap and one in his underwear sucking a binkie. Normally DAD doesn’t let its men talk, but after begging, I was connected with the jester Trump, a.k.a. Jeeves, Tara’s personal chauffeur.

Before becoming Tara’s demo bottom four years ago, Jeeves was Thomas Cotton, a retired state clerk who had a pretty vanilla marriage. Without a doubt, Jeeves was the sweetest 80-year-old I’ve ever met. Think of the old man from Pixar’s Geri’s Game, but if he also liked to get peed on—a truth Jeeves learned at another DAD event. “That was my first golden shower and I enjoyed it, more than a real shower,” said Jeeves, as Tyga’s “Taste” played in the background.

Back inside, the pee was about to start, and the DAD ladies took their places on set. I’d met some of them a few weeks prior when they they were serving lunches to the homeless through their partnership with the arts-focused non-profit, The Sidewalk Project.

First Dr. Suzy introduced the group, and founding member Goddess Soma Snakeoil led a talk on SESTA/FOSTA—the anti-tracking bill that consensual sex workers say is killing their livelihood. Then they brought in the first Trump.

This was Suit Trump, who I would rank the second-kinkiest of the Trumps. After forcing him on his knees, a domme in a bee costume whipped him with a horse crop on behalf of the environment. “We want to save our planet,” she screamed. “Slay it sister bumblebee,” the other dommes yelled. “Sting him harder!”

Mother Nature now vindicated, the dommes stripped him down so that Soma could literally “fuck the racist out of him” with a strap-on. There were rubber dicks everywhere, each of the women having donned one. With all the bright colors and outlandish props, it looked like The Garden of Earthly Delights as drawn by Lisa Frank. “Do I need to bring a bigger cock!,” chanted Soma while she pegged the president in front of the audience.

After a short recess, a dominatrix dressed as Melania Trump led Baby Trump to the stage, which was now covered with Trump-emblazoned pee pads. Baby Trump was clutching a baby doll—a nod to the border crisis. “Give us our children!” Tara shrieked. “You will not take our children!”

Dommes Rhiannon Aarons and Jenna Rotten went first, pissing on him as he lay flat on the ground. Dr Suzy joined in, too, peeing through her tights. When Tara stepped up, though, the wet forecast started to clear up. Which I get. I can barely go when someone is at the urinal next to me, but her difficulties turned out to be contagious.

Once Tara didn’t perform, all the others had trouble. Everyone started asking for cups of water to try and break the curse. There was a lot of awkward waiting, but no pee.

The performance ended with the members of DAD surrounding Suit Trump, Baby Trump, and Jeeves Trump in a collective wall of human torment as a rapper named Ikkor the Wolf hopped on stage and busted out a track.

While there was less urine than I expected, DAD’s Russian Hooker Pee Pee Party was gross, bizarre and unsettling in the best ways possible.

Only time will tell as to whether it will be an effective form of protest against Trump, I guess.

Follow Zachary Shucklin on Instagram.

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