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Drugs

Gene Simmons Just Got Hired For The Most Ridiculous Sounding Weed Job

And he’s straight edge.
Grown-ass man Gene Simmons. Photo via The Canadian Press.

There are lots of creative job titles floating in the cannabis industry—weed enthusiast anyone?—but Gene Simmons may have just snagged the most ridiculous one of all.

The KISS frontman, who previously claimed, “I've never been drunk and I've never been high," and also—”I wanna rock and roll all night and party every day”—has been hired as “chief evangelist officer” by Invictus, a company that represents licensed weed producers on Canada’s west coast.

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If you’re wondering what the hell a “chief evangelist officer” actually does, Invictus’ chief executive officer Dan Kriznic said in a press release, “Gene will lead marketing initiatives that will help spread the positive messages that dwell at the heart of Invictus in accordance with the strict regulations of Health Canada’s Access to Cannabis for Medical Purposes Regulations (ACMPR), the Food and Drugs Act (FDA) and the Narcotic Control Regulations (NCR).”

Who knew a weed job could sound so narcy.

Simmons told reporters he was keen on the gig because “values and family are very important to me, and when I first connected with Dan at Invictus, I understood immediately that we enjoyed a shared passion for these key life foundations.” His own son has said Simmons is full of shit, so we’ll take this explanation with a grain of salt.

As for Simmons’ expertise in this area, considering that he’s never blazed in his life, Kriznic said he “created one of the most iconic bands of all time, but has spent decades building successful brands internationally in various industries.”

Simmons was accused in December of making unwanted sexual advances on a female broadcaster.

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