If you're in the market for a cozy new home where you can raise a family while simultaneously living out your darkest BDSM fantasies in a fully-furnished fuck dungeon, look no further—we've got you covered.
On Friday morning, Twitter user Dan McQuade stumbled across a truly remarkable listing for a five-bedroom, 2.5 bath house outside of Philadelphia. It looked like your standard suburban home, until you got about halfway through the photo gallery. Please, accompany us on this journey:
Naturally, the listing for the place—advertised as "50 shades of Maple Glen"—immediately went viral. It's not every day you get to see some staged real estate photos that include whips, a pillory, and a goddamn wooden star where you can tie (and/or be tied by) your significant other. The house is going for $750,000, which seems like a great deal when you consider the only slightly-used BDSM wonderland included in the asking price.
Of course, the listing specified that the terrifying sex chamber "can be converted back to a typical suburban basement" if you're not into kink or, who knows, want to bring in your own arsenal of erotic weaponry when you move in.
The current owners also have the place up for rent on Airbnb, in case you aren't in the market for a home, but still want to take the fuck room for a spin—and the house even has its own Instagram page, Maison XS, with photos helpfully tagged with things like "#bdsm," "#daddy," and "#SUBMISSIVEwomenDoitBetter."
Unfortunately, whoever put the house on Redfin decided to go back and change the whole thing once the listing went viral, for some reason. Gone are the 50 Shades references and the extensive photos of the BDSM chamber; the only hint at the illicit pleasures that lie within its walls is a vaguely cryptic line about it being a "one of a kind suburban home."
Questions abound: Namely, why did the real estate listing change after it went viral? Wouldn't an agent welcome the publicity? What the fuck is happening?
More importantly, why aren't the home's current owners taking all their BDSM gear with them? Could they be in the middle of some messy divorce, and all that sex stuff reminds them too much of the periodically painful love they once shared? Or did they just get bored of their old whips and harnesses and decide they needed to overhaul their fuck pad?
Also: Who's the poor house cleaner who has to scrub down the sex swing between Airbnb visits? We need answers. So, so, so many answers.
Update (2/8): We're sorry to report that the sex house is no longer available on AirBnB.
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This article originally appeared on VICE US.