A bit of weird news hit the wire today. Reportedly, Sony executive Amy Pascal won't move into her new offices until the lingering scent of leftover roaches and uncleaned bong water is removed. Sources told the Hollywood Reporter the space she's set to take on was previously occupied by potheads Seth Rogen and his creative partner Evan Goldberg.
Pascal, who was demoted from co-chair to producer after the Sony cyberattack led to a bunch of her emails becoming public, is supposed to be heading up projects like the new Ghostbusters movie. But fans may now have to wait until the exec can work in a space without having flashbacks to her sophomore year of college.
I want Pascal to move into her new office so we can get the gears in motion on these potential cinematic gems. So I spoke to Bob Hamilton, CEO of StinkInc® LLC, a company that focuses on "safe, smell-free, and non-masking odor control," to find out what it takes to get the resin funk out of the floors.
"Everyone's sense of smell is different... and certain odors or gases affect people differently," Hamilton told me. "Sense of smell can be heightened by pregnancy, immune system issues, or other aspects that can make people very sensitive to their environments. That office may smell fine to Seth. But to Amy Pascal, it could be the most potent thing she's ever whiffed."
He continued, "Just like we are unable to quantify 'sensitivity,' we often are unable to quantify level of contamination—i.e., How bad is it? One hundred bong rips a day or a few here and there? This, combined with how long Seth and friends were blazing up in there would be another factor in the severity as well."
But a hardcore pothead isn't going to ruin a house the way a chain smoker would. "Unlike cigarettes, marijuana does not have the same level of residual contamination issues," Hamilton said. "Nicotine and the other chemicals components seem to have a much larger impact visually on walls as well your sense of smell."
So what would be the best way to clean this office for Ms. Pascal? "Some people would never be happy even if the smell is gone due to the psychological aspect of it—say if they are fearful or truly disagree with exposing themselves to marijuana in any fashion," Hamilton said. "Understanding this 'objection' is critical."
The actual act of cleaning the office and removing the smell completely, sounds tricky. But Hamilton explained his process "would entail cleaning and/or misting the office surfaces and fibers with a proprietary, nontoxic, biodegradable, fragrance-free, odor counteractant we manufacture with professional cleaning techniques."
Then again, like he mentioned, some people just can't abide the smell of pot. Amy Pascal may always think of that office as a tainted drug den, but let's hope she's able to get over it—otherwise we may be waiting years to see Kristen Wiig kick some Slimer ass.
UPDATE: Seth Rogen posted a response to the claims made by The Hollywood Reporter on Instagram, stating "I don't know what's more irresponsible: that they would print a story that is completely untrue, or that they would refer to how pot smells as a 'stench.' #myshitssmellsgood." While some of Hollywood Reporter's insider sources said that the office was getting a new paint job mainly so that Pascal could put her decorative stamp on the place, other anonymous sources said that the smell was so strong it "has seeped into the flooring."
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