This Massive Slow Motion Pile Up in Montreal Is Mesmerizing
Great Monday content. Screenshot via YouTube
This article originally appeared on VICE Canada.
If you've ever hit black ice while driving, you've probably thought, "This is it." No more sex, Bitcoins, Netflix, or weed. Just the hymns of Jimi Hendrix and Tupac for eternity. Maybe you'll get to meet Jesus Christ or Prince (or anyone who died in 2016 really)—that'd be neat.
Of course, most times when your car loses traction on an icy road, it's nothing but a momentary scare. A skid here, a skid there, then you're back on your way—albeit with a slightly-elevated heart rate and a more keen awareness of your insurance policy. But what happened in Montreal this morning? Buddy, shit hit the fan.
Seriously, look at a video taken this morning on Montreal's Beaver Hall Hill—-one of the city's most notoriously-steep streets. In a textbook example of, "Oh man, fuck this shit," with a strong hint of "Salaud!" thrown into the mix, the video kicks off as a Montreal transit bus loses control after hitting ice and smashes into four cars at the bottom of the hill.
You know, considering how shitty this situation is, people really don't seem to care. I mean, the video has already been widely-shared across Facebook and Twitter with cringe worthy captions like "ONLY IN CANADA *crying emoji*," and "LOL WINTER IN THE NORTH." So. Damn. Funny!
Imagine being on that bus, or in one of those cars, and thinking,"Damn, that shit sucks! Glad it's over though," only to find out—NOPE, dead wrong, bucko. Here comes more cars that forgot to buy some fucking snow tires.
First, a pickup truck carrying ladders and other metal shit slams into the back of the bus. Boom, that sucks, eh? Too bad, because then, out of nowhere, here comes another fucking bus! Smash. Damn, this day is really not going well!
You think, at this point, people would be like, "Nah, this hill? Let's not take it. Let's go get some Second Cup and enjoy our day uninjured." But the police—clearly fresh off a viewing of Tokyo Drift—decided to try their luck at blocking off the hill, only to also get caught in this inevitable slide of fuckery.
Before the pile up was over, however, a salt truck—plow attached and all—had to really put a cherry on the fucking cake by literally slamming ram-first into this cop car. What a shitty day! Bet you wish you bought some snow tires, huh plow truck?
Thankfully, reports indicate that no one was seriously injured in the pile-up. Hopefully they can all walk to their nearest department store and by some deep-tread rubber wheel caskets, am I right?
Follow Jake Kivanc on Twitter.