You’re Trapped on an Island With Someone You Hate: How Long Until You Have Sex?

Imagine you're marooned on a desert island. You think you're alone. You think that you will never speak to another human being for as long as you live, until one day you're out collecting coconuts and find some footprints in the sand. There's someone else here! You're not alone! And you follow the prints… and they lead to… Jeff from accounts receivable. The only person you've ever truly hated.

And Jeff isn't thrilled to see you either. You can see in his eyes that he's relieved to think he won't die alone, but he's annoyed to think he'll die with you. But you're a team now. You'll work to survive, and invariably you'll have sex. Maybe it'll take ages or maybe it'll be soon. And maybe it'll be out of loneliness or just pure boredom, but you will have sex. It'll just be a matter of time.

So in this long-winded hypothetical, how long do you think it would take? We took to the streets of Melbourne to ask around.

VICE: Hey Jordan, imagine you're stuck on an island with someone you hate. How long do you think it would take to have sex?
Jordan: It would have to be in the first week, or you'd kill each other. Before you'd move forward to working as a team, you'd have to resolve the hate issue. And the best way to resolve hate is love.

The person you're thinking of, what are they like?
Physically they are ok, but mentally I can't stand them. I don't like their bitchiness.

How do you think that would change?
Well it'd get cold at night, and we'd have to keep warm for survival.

Do you think loneliness would play a part in this happening?
One hundred percent. I think you could go five or six days feeling angry, and then you'd be like, "right let's at least just sit next to each other, even if it's in silence." I also think it's a really important part of survival for us to be able to touch another human and I don't think you've got anything to lose by doing this, especially when you're lonely.

Would being put in this dire situation give you the chance to fulfill a secret desire?
I think at some point in everyone's life, we've fallen for someone we don't like. At first you don't like them, and then there's this conflict issue, and then part of resolving that is… well, it doesn't usually go as far as making love with them, but if you're stuck on an island, what are you going to find middle-ground on? You're gonna be stuck there, either fighting or fucking.

Frida, how long would it take before you had sex with a person you hate?
I don't know if I really hate anyone…

Just pretend.
Ok well, It would depend on a few things. If he was much older than me, it would take much longer I think. Or maybe if it was a woman, I would have a lot of trouble with that. It's hard to say, I think I could last a pretty long time without wanting to have sex with them.

How long are we talking?
Maybe six months… if they weren't old.

Is there a limit to how awful this person can be before you can overlook it and have sex with them anyway?
If they are not open minded at all to listen to my opinions and vice versa. I find that really unattractive. I think in the end, I could probably overlook the emotional side of it and just focus on the physical. I would definitely be feeling lonely, like I want some sort of physical connection with someone. That's what would make me decide to do it.

If you slept with this person, do you think it could spark a surprise romance?
Sometimes, when you really hate somebody, that can somehow create some kind of attraction, like it's a bit exciting. I think it's more likely that it'd be a one time thing.

How long Nick?
I mean, there are a lot of other variables. For me, sex is about pleasing someone because you like them, not just receiving pleasure for myself. But on the other hand, I can't deny human instincts.

What would be the tipping point, for you?
I think I'd get to the point where I'd get lonely enough to talk to them, and I'd imagine they'd do the same. I think maybe being in a desperate situation would break down the things I'd hate about them. The things that I hate someone for might become quite superficial and irrelevant once I was on an island.

Like giving them a clean slate?
It would be, yeah. I would have to really get to know them, and talk to them, but would I have sex with them? That's another question. I've gone years without having sex, so I don't know if it's completely necessary.

Would it be something that's on your mind as soon as you get to the island?
Probably not. I mean, I have to stay alive and then I'm dealing with the fact I'm pretty much dead to everyone I know. So I'd have to work through that first, but I mean, maybe sex would help me overcome some of my problems, maybe we would have a family.

Can you give me a number though, how long you would last before you think it would happen?
Ok, a year. I would have gone through all the seasons and be confident that I was doing alright.

It's just you and your arch nemesis trapped on an island, how long before you bang?
I would like to say that it would take a long time, but I think it'd take like three months to be honest.

Why is that?
Because we're human. Especially being on an island, you'd probably be pretty lonely. I kind of go crazy if I don't talk to anyone, so I think I'd need to have another person around me.

Do you think it could turn a bit awkward?
I think it'd only be awkward if the other person felt it was against their beliefs or something. I personally don't find sex that awkward, but that's just me I guess.

What would need to happen on the island for that to happen?
I'd need to be upset, and need comfort, or you just haven't had sex in a while, and just want to do it. I would be less likely to do it though if the circumstances were really bad and surviving the island wasn't going well. I wouldn't be as keen.

Would the needs of the other person be important?
I don't know if I'd actually ask them how they are feeling. I'd be intrigued, but it'd be more of a primal urge rather than anything emotional, if that makes sense…

How long Alex?
Realistically a few weeks, because I'm a 26-year old dude. But if I really hated that person, and they were really unattractive, probably more like a few months. Shows you how superficial I am hey!

Do you think having sex with someone you hate would make the situation better or worse?
I reckon in the moment, better, and then after, you might feel a bit of resentment. But then you might have revenge sex, or like anger sex. I don't know. This is so weird, where did this question come from?

Never you mind. And tell me about anger sex.
Look probably, I feel like I'm human enough that it would definitely destroy things. It might turn them into a sexual object, and I might dismiss their views because of that. Actually, that might even make life easier.

Hmm. So let's say you stopped caring about them, would you be willing to give it another crack even if the sex is super shit?
If it's just me and them, I've got no other choice probably. Being alone is only cool for a certain amount of time and then you've got to deal with what you got.

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