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Question of the Day: What Is Tinder Etiquette?

Tinder has been around nearly four years, which is enough time to develop its own social parameters. We asked people in Melbourne what these are, and whether dick pics will ever go mainstream.

by Greta Levy
05 April 2016, 6:18am

Tinder: good for dates, bad for thumbs. Image via.

Tinder was launched in the US in September 2012, which has given it nearly four years to revamp how we date. Hooking up has now become a whole lot easier and more frivolous, which has led Vanity Fair to blame Tinder for a "Dating Apocalypse." But that's not to say online courting has discarded etiquette. In fact, a lot of millennium-old rules have been transported online, while new ones have been born. After all, four years is a long time for an app to develop some rituals.

We wanted to know what's considered smooth on Tinder, so we asked people around Melbourne. How soon should you graduate from Tinder to texting? And is it ever ok to swipe right on friends, coworkers, or second cousins? Here's some responses.

Ainsley Mao, 18

VICE: Hey Ainsley, what do you think is Tinder etiquette?

Ainsley: How you conduct yourself on Tinder, the lame rules that you follow. Not that there are any rules... Initially I thought Tinder would be cool to meet people on, but I ended up getting freaked out. The guys on there are really lecherous, but I guess that's what it's there for. It is just for hook ups.

Who should start the chat?
I do think girls expect the guys to message them first... Then again I've had guys who start the conversation and give really cheesy comments like, "Nice tits." Or they ask for nudes like straight up.

If you wanted to find your life partner, would you turn to Tinder?
Not to meet someone seriously. I think face-to-face interaction is an easier way to get into relationships. If I desperately needed a root I would definitely turn to Tinder, but to meet my life partner, I don't think so. I see it as place you go to have fun or cheat.

Carlie Skarey, 25

What is Tinder etiquette?
It's hard because you are judging people on such simple things. I have really basic expectations when I go on Tinder I suppose. I like a good open liner instead of "How ya going?" Stuff like "Bit of a babe" I just never respond to, it's utter rubbish. I like people you can tell that they are intellectual, if it gets a bit of a laugh that's the best thing.

As a single person do you feel pressure to be on Tinder? Like you'd be missing out otherwise.
Yeah! As a single person now, you have to be on Tinder. You can go out and meet people but everybody knows that's it's something to fall back onto. It's something that opens up dating more. I would much prefer to meet someone the old school way, I really wish Tinder didn't exist.

Are you prepared to go to Tinder weddings?
Absolutely, in this day and age why wouldn't you think that it will happen. A friend of friend just got married to someone they met on Tinder. It did have such a negative stigma around it, but now everyone is on it, that's not there anymore.

Mohamed Ahmed, 18

How to you present yourself on Twitter?
An approachable, nice guy. To be honest I only went on there to see what kind of girls that I could get. Some of the girls I match with are pretty boring, so it's not my goal to meet someone on Tinder. I find Tinder sort of dodgy and kind of sketchy.

What would your mum think of you being on Tinder?
I mean for me, I am Muslim but my parents aren't extremely religious. They aren't against Tinder, but they don't like it. It's not the traditional way of meeting people to them. I think Tinder is already a cultural norm to be honest, the amount of people that talk about it openly.

Are the old ways, going to a bar and taking someone home, well and truly dead?
Yes definitely, that's so old school. Tinder has actually probably destroyed that. It is much easier to just go onto Tinder and meet people. It is basically a guaranteed root.

Chantal, 22

Hey Chantal, what's been the worst opening line you've received?
"I only swiped right on you because I am a personal trainer and I think I could get you into shape."


Would you swipe right on a friend, just to be polite?
Hell yeah! Just to ask them what they are doing on there.

Would you rather match with your hot cousin or ugly stranger?
Ew, ugly stranger.

Asa Kimmer, 22

How do you not seem like a creep on Tinder?
I feel like people attempt to come across as friendly, quirky, funny all those buzzwords. I see Tinder is fun and very light way to meet people. I actually know someone who found a room in a house through Tinder, could have been creepy but it worked out fine.

What's the worst thing that's happened to you on a Tinder date?
I've had a really lucky Tinder experience. I have only had one successful Tinder date, but I ended up moving overseas and kind of breaking her heart. I think they normally go pretty badly.

How about running into someone who've matched on Tinder in real life?
That's super awkward, it's actually happened to me. I had a moment where I matched with a girl on Tinder then I saw my friend making out with her later. I just smiled and said hi. She was fully aware that it happened and we embraced the awkwardness. Tinder is kind of an awkward platform anyway.

Lauren Sharf, 26

When I say Tinder etiquette what do you think of?
Not just sending dick pics! There is definitely the notion that Tinder it is sex-related. My Tinder experience wasn't too bad though, I thought it would be much worse and more sex related from what I saw from my friends on Tinder.

Do you match with your friends as a courtesy thing?
Yeah I definitely I do. But my friends say that I shouldn't do that, that it could give the wrong impression and the person would think I like them now.

A friend of a friend actually saw me on Tinder, I didn't know them but he had seen me on social media, and they swiped right. I think went past him, I didn't really know him. But everyone asked me why I didn't match with him.

Do you think Tinder is addictive?
Yes it is definitely addictive. You get that little "yay" when you match with someone or get a super like, so you do get that feeling. Then again If someone super likes me, I generally decide I don't like them anyway. I think they are weird, I find that way too keen.

Senousi, 21

Who starts the conversation, you or the girl?
Well, I'm a pretty guy, you know. Generally, the girls talk to me.

What's good etiquette if you run into someone you know on Tinder?
Yeah, that's happened to me before. I said hey, but they didn't reply so fuck it.

Would you rather match with your cousin or an ugly stranger?
What up cuz! In my religion it's not an issue though, just doesn't usually happen via Tinder.

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