Ranking Everyone in This Photo by How Happy They Are to Be There

After orbing it up in Saudi Arabia and donning a yarmulke in Israel, Donald Trump made the final stop on his Abrahamic Religion Tour 2017 at the Vatican, where he met Pope Francis. The two leaders have disagreed before (with the pope calling Trump "not a Christian"), so there were questions about how they would get along, what would get discussed, and blah blah blah. But mostly, people ended up talking about the group photo the Trump entourage took with the pope, where Trump looks very happy and the pope… does not look happy at all.

But people are missing the bigger picture—literally, there is a wider shot of the scene that includes not just the Trump family but a group of about a dozen dignitaries. All of their faces are very, very good and need to be discussed, so I did just that in order of how pumped they were to be there. (I don't know everyone's name, sorry!)

Let's get started!

Dead, horrified eyes. Extremely same.

Though Melania's general feelings about her husband remain unclear, here, she looks like the only sober person at a New Year's Eve party realizing she's going to be stuck there for a long, long time.

I bet being pope is cool sometimes, at least that's how it looks in the trailers for The Young Pope. (Assuming that it is like that in real life, except the real pope is old.) But like with any jobs there are times when you are just counting the minutes until your ten. This is one of those times.

This man is very good at keeping his face neutral. But his eyes tell a different story.

Not even looking at the camera. I respect that.

This is the face of a man who has been in a lot of rooms with a lot of people. Important people. He has the sort of job he can't tell his kids the details of, and the kind of secrets that most of us are lucky enough not to keep. Which is to say he doesn't really give two shits about meeting the pope.*

Anyone who has ever been forced to be in a photo with a friend group they are only a fringe member of will understand exactly how this guy feels.

When you're in the Vatican but still thinking about the orb.

It's underrated how hilarious Jared Kushner's life is. He's been falling upward since his dad helped him get into Harvard with a $2.5 million donation and is now one of the most powerful people in the world because his father-in-law became president. It's hard to convey that with a smirk, but he does it here.

When you've just destroyed one of the Vatican bathrooms and are chuckling knowing the Swiss Guards will have to deal with that.*

This is the face your grandpa makes when he is proud of you and loves you. He won't say it, but you know.

At least someone's having fun.

*Originally we called Keith Schiller "Unnamed Man #2" and H.R. McMaster "Unnamed Man #5." Sorry about that, guys!

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