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In Eaton's view, his father was not getting the help he needed and deserved. "The problem with the NHS's mental health teams is they won't touch you if you're drunk or under the influence," he says. "But when you're under the influence, you don't have the mental capacity to take decisions for yourself."The death took its toll on Eaton. He suffered from depression for about a year and ended up having to leave his job. "However, opening the foundation in my father's memory really helped my recovery," he reflects.And, clearly, it's helping others, too. "We see around 40 men per week and we respond to referrals within a day," Eaton explains. "We receive referrals from statutory services, third sector, and from self-referrals and third-party referrals from family or friends."Besides its focus on men, Eaton believes there's something else that distinguishes the Eaton Foundation from other mental health centers. "We believe in a holistic approach. When you're going to one service for housing, another for debt, and another for mental health, you're constantly telling your story here, there, and everywhere," he explains. "We do not believe that men's issues should be treated in a vacuum, because they did not arise or affect them in a vacuum."For this reason, the center helps men with the whole host of problems they face. "We've helped people with mental health, debt, benefits, housing—we've even been to court for disability allowance appeals," says Eaton. "I believe that consistency is key. I think that's why they feel safe coming here. We can support a man suffering with depression following dependency because of bereavement and a marriage breakdown all in one place. About 20 percent who come to us say they're suicidal, so obviously we take safeguarding measures."Read on VICE News: 'The Greatest Opportunity We Have in Mental Health': Inside the British Study Where Volunteers Mainline LSD
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As we have seen, having a stiff upper lip or always acting the lad can quickly become exhausting, unsustainable, and damaging. Patriarchy might privilege men who conform to its narrow view of success—i.e. those who are heterosexual, financially profitable, stoical, invulnerable, and domineering—but it's less accommodating to those who don't conform. As such, it can be difficult to admit to going through a phase of crisis, depression, or anxiety. The roles, character traits, and behaviors we associate with manhood are all about control, but when men experience mental health problems, they lose control.But gender isn't the only thing that has an impact on the probability of suicide. Unsurprisingly, the amount of cash in your pocket and life chances you have makes a difference, too. Those in the poorest socio-economic circumstances are ten times more likely to commit suicide than the affluent.That said, it has to be remembered that it's never possible to truly know why someone chooses to take their own life. For this very reason, it's imperative we see the bigger picture and try to understand why so many men come to feel that they have no purpose, value, or significance. Centers like the Eaton Foundation bring us further on this quest. The simple, humble act of providing a secure place for men to openly express their problems free from judgment will hopefully save many preventable deaths.Follow Maya on Twitter.