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Bottle water is a scam right? We all know that. Cool. Okay, getting on with it. If you are going to pay $4 for something that comes out of your tap for (basically) free, then it better be pretty fucking special. That is the thinking behind Queensland company Frequency H2O. They claim to infuse their aqua with mystical frequencies that include love, moon and rainbow. You officially have my attention.The thinking, fruity as it may be, is clearly working. The Townsville-based organisation just took out the top place at the Berkeley Springs International Water Tasting Awards. Next time you’re sitting at your desk wondering if your middle management job makes any difference in the world, remember that “International Water Tasting Awards” are a thing.Frequency H2O, which describes itself as ‘‘ultimate elixir of life and the most dynamic beverage in the universe’’, was selected over 100 different waters. Speaking to The Brisbane Times, water sommelier (I’m already obsessed) Martin Riese explained what he looks for in a prize winning drop: "A water which has a unique taste will get from me a high score, a water which almost doesn't have a taste and I could not easily remember gets a lower score from me.”So what makes this Australian champion so special? Well according to the website, it’s a “synthesis of wisdom and evolution, as it is put through a trade secret two-stage kinetic energy process and infused with a blend of Solfeggio, sound and light frequencies. This process enlivens the molecules producing noticeable texture, softness and ultra-hydrating taste, feel and effect.” Fuck taste, give these guys the prize for copywriting alone.For more high quality VICE content, subscribe to our newsletter.
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