On Tinder, it’s super common to see guys listing their height. The implied reason is that women who are attracted to men actually give a shit about this physical trait. I even once saw a guy list his height on his profile—5’8”—while simultaneously complaining that women cared so much about it. That was definitely a swipe left, but it seems like there’s this perceived obsession that women usually only want to date guys who are taller than them.
So, I decided to ask a bunch of women who are into guys if they actually give a shit. For the record, I’m 5’4” and, as a general rule, won’t seriously date guys who are shorter than me (though I have dated someone the same height as me).
Here’s what other women think about your height:
Relationships are an investment. Women get the short end of the stick in most cases. Men will use us to prove their worth socially… It is only fair we get to do the same because society looks at women with short, unattractive men as being foolish, gold diggers, etc. Why should I take a social blow for a short man when they rarely take social blows being with an ugly woman? They want to judge us on dating sites by photos of our faces and bodies to decide if we're "worthy" of their attention. Well how tall are you? Are you worthy of my attention back? Why are men the only people who get to make ego-based decisions? I have an ego as well.
If you know the man long-term and he's short and you like his personality, there’s no issue there with dating. The issue comes when we can’t make decisions to protect our own egos, when we are being told the egos of unfamiliar men are more valuable than our own. On a format as shallow as Tinder, women are being solely judged on our appearance overall... If you have an issue with telling me your height so I can make a socially conscious decision, then I have an issue with you looking at my face so you can do the same. —Celia, 26
I'm 5'9,” so I'm pretty tall, but I still like to wear heels. My boyfriend is only a few inches taller than me, but he prefers when I wear heels that don't make me look taller than him. I personally don't mind it at all and do it anyway. I've also had a few men I was interested in before tell me that they didn't like that I was taller than them—I think they find it intimidating for some reason. —Sam, 26
Height: It doesn't matter when you're lying down, but significant differences in height do make some couple activities like dancing or taking photos together a little more challenging. Nothing that can't be remedied with a little creativity. Plus, it can be really cute when people are in love and really different heights. If it's like a fling though, and I were choosing for superficial reasons, taller than me is preferable. If you're looking for a significant connection, measurements are not that important, but a one-nighter you might just want to sleep with someone who checks all the boxes in terms of your own idea of what is attractive, which could be tall or short. —Hannah, 28
I’m 5’8,” and my new boyfriend is much taller than my ex. My ex was about my height. I'm a pretty tall girl. Honestly, it’s never a thought to me. Sometimes I see myself almost being like, omg, [my boyfriend] is so much taller than me! But then I'm like, why do I care? Am I joyful in comparison to my ex? I just don't have time or the heart space to look into these things. I just like to hug him, which for playful purposes, I do love the height of [my boyfriend]. But we’re just a more playful couple than my previous relationship so, back to that heart space… don't care. You're hot. —Megan, 24
I’m decently tall—5’7”—and would like for my partner to be taller than me. I’d like it if they were taller than me in heels, too. My last partner was 6’1, and I was happy with that, but the two before him were 5’9. It’s a preference, but not a requirement. And I’m willing to break the preference for Zac Efron or Scott Disick. Generally speaking, I have a type. But I will not rule someone out based on height alone. It may, however, be a contributing factor when paired with other things I don’t like. —Erica, 24
I don’t find height matters personally, like, at all. But some guys have hangups if they are shorter than you. I found they make little comments like when we are dancing or if they wanted a kiss. They would make little apologies or ask if I could avoid wearing high shoes. Personally, I am only 5'3, so it’s pretty rare for me to find anyone shorter. I briefly went out with a guy who came just under my shoulders. I found it was him or others who seemed most affected. The guy I am currently with is much taller than I am, and it gets tricky when cropping or posing for photos, but other than that, no big deal. One guy I liked was almost exactly my height. It was convenient in some ways but not a factor in the attraction. I find it is always handy to have someone tall to help me with household things, but I have friends for that. There are much more important things to look for in a partner. —Laney, 31
I’m 5’7. I have dated dudes shorter than me, my height, and taller than me. I gotta say it was much better when they were my height. Tall is OK and convenient for getting shit off shelves and stuff, but that’s too much person. People don’t need to be that much people. —Kaylin, 26