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Cry-Baby of the Week: A Woman Called 911 Because She Didn't Like Her Chinese Food

Also this week: People are upset because they think a McDonald's Happy Meal toy is saying "fuck."

by Jamie Lee Curtis Taete
10 July 2015, 12:35pm

Screencap via Google Maps

It's time, once again, to marvel at some idiots who don't know how to handle the world:

Cry-Baby #1: Tracey F. McCloud

Screencap via Google Maps

The incident: A woman was not happy with her Chinese food.

The appropriate response: Complaining. Taking it up with your local consumer rights agency if the food was really that bad.

The actual response: She called 911.

On Monday, 911 dispatchers in Alliance, Ohio, received a call from 44-year-old Tracey F. McCloud (pictured above). In a recording of the call posted by Fox 8 Cleveland, Tracey can be heard saying, "I have bought some Chinese food and it's not to par for me."

"And this is why you called 911?" the operator asks, before Tracey responds: "What am I supposed to do, jump over the thing and beat 'em up and get my money back?"

An Alliance Police Department officer went to the scene and arrested Tracey for misuse of 911, which is a misdemeanor.

Fox 8 spoke to the owners of New Moon, the Chinese restaurant Tracey was complaining about, and they claimed that the issue stemmed from Tracey asking for a cash refund on food she had paid for using a credit card. They also claimed she had eaten some of the dishes she was attempting to get refunded.

Fox 8 reports that Tracey contacted them by phone to defend herself, saying she felt she was being "misrepresented," as she had made the call to 911 because the food was "spoiled" and the restaurant's manager had yelled at her "in another language."

According to Fox 8, the restaurant refunded Tracey's card for all of the purchases she'd made. So it all worked out in the end for her (assuming she doesn't have to pay any kind of massive fine for this).

Cry-Baby #2: Taylor King

Screencaps via Google Maps, Fox 28 Columbus, and YouTube

The incident: A man decided that the sound a Happy Meal toy was making sounded like the word "fuck."

The appropriate response: To stop being such an idiot.

The actual response: He contacted his local news station to vent his outrage.

Taylor King (pictured above, right), a father in Columbus, Ohio, bought his kids a Happy Meal from a local McDonald's earlier this week.

The toy that came with the Happy Meal was one of 12 toys currently available at McDonald's to promote the movie Minions. It's a Minion dressed as a caveman and speaks several lines of gibberish when tapped on the head.

One of those lines of gibberish is three short syllables that sound a little bit like a chicken clucking. You can hear it in this YouTube video here.

If you listen to the three syllables of gibberish as though the Minion is saying "what the fuck," it sounds a bit like the Minion is saying "what the fuck." It also sounds just as much like it's saying "glass of milk" or "on the bus" or "fuck shit cunt" or pretty much any combination of three single syllable words, if that's what you're listening for when you hear it.

Not to be deterred by reason, Taylor took the toy away from his child and contacted his local news station to complain. "My son has not laid hands on it," he said in his interview with them. "I do not approve of that kind of language, especially from a kids' toy."

Taylor is not the only person upset with the toys. A man in Florida also appeared on his local news for the same reason.

In a statement, a spokesperson for McDonald's said: "Minions speak 'Minionese' which is a random combination of many languages and nonsense words and sounds. 'Minionese' has no translation to, or meaning in any recognized language. Any perceived similarities to words used within the english language are purely coincidental." Which, if broken down to individual syllables and spoken in a high-pitched voice through an extremely cheap speaker, sounds a bit like the word "fuck" repeated over and over again. Which is completely unacceptable.

Who here is the bigger cry-baby? Let us know in this poll down here, if you could:

Previously: A guy who allegedly pulled a gun in a post office vs. a couple who allegedly attacked their neighbor with a rake in a row over loud sex.

Winner: The post office guy!!!

Follow Jamie Lee Curtis Taete on Twitter.