People Aren't Seeing Doctors Because They're Too Shy to Talk About Their Weird Ailments

Befuddled Brits with disgusting foot ailments are too shy to tell receptionists at GPs what their problems are, and are not getting appointments with doctors as a result. Four in 10 people polled by Cancer Research UK, of a pool of 2,000, said they found it uncomfortable having to discuss their cyst-y penises with the mardy, austere person on the other end of the phone. Many were also concerned that they were causing trouble and fuss by calling up, which is, frankly, the worst example of Englishness I've ever heard.

Lead researcher Dr Jodie Moffat was clearly dismayed by the sheepishness of the walking wounded, saying: "Don't let yourself be put off. Make that appointment. Be forceful. I know that's easier said than done. But it's clear that a new sign or symptom, or something that has stayed or got worse over time, needs to be checked out by a GP."

Of those polled, 39.5 percent said that the receptionist embarrassment was the cause of them not making appointments, while 41.8 per cent said the greatest doctor-related issue was getting an appointment with the doctor of their choice.

NHS England will be putting a chunk of its budget towards further training receptionists in dealing with people who understandably don't want to discuss their leaking arseholes over the phone with someone they've just given their full name and address to. Looking forward to it!

@joe_bish

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