Steph Curry Calls Donald Trump an Ass (Sort Of)

First things first: extra-mild basketball supergenius Steph Curry did not make any sort of grand statement on the current President of the United States. He was simply responding to something one of his aligned brands did, which is how we do things in America now. Everything runs through the brand. The brand is making me look bad? Release a statement. I am making the brand look bad? Release a statement. It's a decent substitute for a discourse if you're in a rush.

Anyway. Under Armour, a brand with which Steph Curry has a deal to make ugly-ass dad shoes and other shit, did something that made Steph look bad when CEO Kevin Plank recently threw his support behind the President. Maybe Plank did this because he believes in Trump as a guy who likes to make "deals" and has in fact promised to "make better deals" for this country, something he will do right after he gets done asking his National Security Advisor the classic riddle: what's better a strong dollar or a weak dollar? Maybe Plank, who referred to the President as "a real asset for the country," was just trying to find the vaguest possible form of praise.

Speaking with the Mercury News, Steph said that he spent the whole day on the phone yesterday with Under Armour and Plank trying to get to the bottom of this, because Steph was not happy. But why? Do you not agree with describing Donald Trump as an asset to the country?

"I agree with that description," Curry said, "if you remove the 'et'" from asset.

Thanks, Steph.

Under Armour, by the way, avoided the broader crisis of having aligned itself with the President of the United States—if you don't follow the news: this is now a thing that happens all the time—because Plank said he was speaking purely about business. "He distanced himself from Trump's controversial policies and comments that have enraged women, Muslims, Mexicans, African-Americans and the impoverished across the nation."

Well, that's good.