Khaled Has Truly Out-Khaleded Himself in the “Do You Mind” Video

All images from YouTube. 

It's officially a good day and we'll tell you why: DJ Khaled dropped the video for the fourth single from Major Key, "Do You Mind," and it is literally the most Khaled-y thing we've ever seen.

It opens on yet Another One of Khaled's trademark preambles, this time with a fictional girlfriend of unbelievable beauty, throwing his possessions down to him from a marbled balcony inside his fictional but definitely true-to-life mansion. She appears to be fed up with him having so much money—for some reason—which prompts Khaled to inform her to never play herself. Which it seems she is already doing.

Khaled is now playing a white baby grand with the same fictional girlfriend draped over him and everything seems to be resolved. For now. In case you're wondering, the lyrics to this song are completely unrelated to the surrounding narrative—as is often the style of Khaled.

The next three minutes is a truly beautiful clusterfuck of opulence and sexual prowess, featuring Nicki Minaj, Chris Brown, Jeremih, Future, Rick Ross, August Alsina and a bunch of extremely attractive women who are not musicians.

Dry ice, man-made rock pools, flood lights. Dirt bikes, sunsets, that mansion we talked about earlier. A few brand placements, naturally—"it costs to live in this house!"—and an exceptional amount of panning shots of Khaled holding inanimate objects like his certified gold record and a box of cigars.

The clip closes on a slow and yet somehow hypnotising Khaled monologue: "When you stressing me, you stressing me. If you don't stress me, I can manoeuvre the jungle focusedly," he tells his fictional gf while sitting on an outdoor daybed surrounded by meticulously arranged roses. He suddenly changes his name to Billy, then he tells her not to cry, even though it appears she is actually not crying, and then shooshes her to give her a diamond necklace and she promises not to stress him and all is good.

Watch the video in all its goddamned glory below. God bless you Khaled.

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