Johnny Depp has been accused of smuggling his two Yorkshire terriers, Boo and Pistol, into Australia. Unfortunately the Australian Government has deemed the dogs a high priority biosecurity threat, and plan to euthanise them if they aren't deported within 72 hours.
Agricultural Minister Barnaby Joyce said the fact Depp was voted "sexiest man alive twice" meant nothing—the two pups may still face the needle. "Why don't we just break the law for everyone?" he said. "Mr Depp has to either take his dogs back to California, or we have to euthanise them."
The actor is believed to have carried Boo and Pistol into Australia on a private plane, but failed to declare them to quarantine. "He snuck them in," Mr Joyce said. "He decided to bring into our nation two dogs, without getting the proper certification and permits required."
Currently the world is holding its breath, with swathes of media waiting outside Johnny Depp's mansion in the Gold Coast. An online petition has already emerged to try and save the two fluffy threats to Australia's security, having gathered close to 2,000 signatures.
VICE questioned Immigration and Border Protection on how Depp managed to get two unchecked animals into our largely disease free country in the first place. In response, a spokesperson diverted responsibility to the Department of Agriculture, who cover the "importation of household pets". When VICE pressed, saying that surely customs must have been involved at some point, we received no response.
However the Immigration Minister, Peter Dutton, did have something to say on Depp's ability to undermine Australia's expensive border security. "In this case it should have been screened, it wasn't," Dutton told Macquarie Radio. Queensland Treasurer Curtis Pitt also considered the situation dire enough to provide his own comment. "We have very strict laws around quarantine in this country," he said. "People shouldn't be getting special treatment.
Lucky for Australia, the watchful eye of the Department of Agriculture uncovered Depp's espionage, after noticing the two had been manicured at Happy Dogz Salon. The salon's owner, Lianne Kent, told VICE that she hopes the government doesn't kill Boo and Pistol.
"Why would you go to that extreme?" she said. "It upset me. They were beautiful." However, Lianne did acknowledge rules were in place for a reason, and that Johnny Depp shouldn't have broken them. "You have to have quarantine, you have to follow the rules."Related: For more dangerous animals, watch Big Cats of the Gulf
Mr Joyce said the importance of quarantining unchecked animals entering Australia was to prevent disease. "Leash mania, rabies, leptospirosis, ehrlichia – all these we want to keep out of our country," he said. On ABC 612 Brisbane, Mr Joyce said the threat of disease passed on via dogs was as close as Bali. "It's just next door, so this is not fanciful stuff."
Only time will tell if Depp's dogs get the death penalty. You can keep track of said time with this handy count down.
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