Hey, Jude (and Everyone Else)! Paul McCartney's in the Next 'Pirates'

Who's next? Jeremy Corbyn? Nigella Lawson? The corgis?

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16 May 2017, 4:04am

It was, I believe, The Beatles who said "all you need is love." Which, we millennials obviously now know to be bullshit. You actually need a lot more than just "love." You need an iPhone. A music streaming account. A personal brand. At least one fidget spinner.

But we won't hold that against The Beatles. Back in 1920 or whatever there were probably only like seven people using wireless internet. Not very "relatable pop song" material.

In a bid to possibly become more accessible to young people—and probably in a bid to earn millions of easy and very fun dollars—Paul McCartney has done something very relatable: star in an instalment of Pirates of the Caribbean, something that at least 70% of the whole world has now done (if our numbers are accurate. And they are).

The dude—who once wrote a song about a walrus and some kind of hideous mutant Egg-man hybrid, that I swear to God absolutely nobody understands, no matter what anyone tells you—posted a picture of himself in character to Instagram yesterday, despite not being featured in the promotional trailer of the film. Which has got to get you thinking: who else is secretly gonna star in Pirates of the Caribbean #41?

Jeremy Corbyn? Nigella Lawson? The corgis? No one is safe.

Check out the trailer below and, as you do, I implore you to think very hard about the following question: Hasn't every single Pirates incarnation been called Dead Men Tell No Tales? Haven't they???