Do Old People Think Other Old People Are Hot?
We asked around Melbourne to find out.
All images by the author
Are old people hot? As a young person, the answer seems simple no. Old people are not hot. They are at best "cute", and sometimes even "adorable", and very often "endearing." But hot has a shelf life, it seems, and most people would agree that things start to sour somewhere between the ages of 30 and 50 years.
Then again, who are we to say? Isn't beauty a subjective thing; something relative to the age and experience of the beholder? Tastes change—they mature—and the things that get you hot under the collar as a 20-year-old could be completely different to the things that get you feeling toe-y in your twilight years.
To find out what the elderly actually think, we hit the streets of Mornington to ask around. Do old people think other old people are hot?
Mick, 89, former horse trainer and miner
VICE: Do you find people your own age attractive Mick?
Mick: Yeah, they’re good—but I’m always looking for someone younger.
Yeah, they look better. You find a few women that are older around my age, but I think you’ve got to be under 50 to make me turn my head. You don’t find them at home: you’ve got to get out a bit to find one at lunches and dinners.
What do you think makes a younger lady more attractive than someone in your age group?
Well, I think younger ones do themselves up a bit better: do their hair and have more energy. They look neater.
Margaret, 82, president of the bowls club
Hi Margaret, do you find people your age attractive?
I never look because I think I look awful, so I don’t want to embarrass them.
What do you think does or doesn’t make people in your age group attractive?
In older people, I think a lot of them wear too much makeup. They're mutton dressed up as lamb.
Has there ever been a moment where you’ve looked at someone who is a similar age to you and thought they were hot?
Not really. I don’t see anyone that is really really attractive, at my age. Maybe when you're younger. But geez, go wash your face with soap. That’s what my grandmother always told me.
Do you find younger women or men attractive?
Not really. I don’t bother to look at them at all.
Daniel (Danny), 88, former music teacher and brass trombone player
Do you find people in your age group attractive?
I find some attractive. My wife is very beautiful, and she is 86. I find her looks, the way she is, and her nature attractive.
Has there ever been a moment where you’ve thought she was particularly hot?
There are lots of moments when I think that. I make the breakfast every morning to show her that I think she is sexy—she stays in bed when I do that. She can’t handle the microwave, you see, so I make the porridge. It is her nature that I find the most attractive.
How did you meet your wife?
One of her girlfriends was going out with a man in the Channel 9 band. She told her that there was a man she ought to meet that she might like—and the rest is history. Ancient history.
Rosalie, 75, volunteer community worker
Hi Rosalie, do you find people in your own age group attractive?
Yes! Very! I was like you once. I had 34 [inch bust] 24 [inch waist] 34 [inch hips]: I had the hourglass figure darling, and as you get older, as you get to 75, you get past all of that. I’m not 25 anymore, but I’m doing okay—although the greys are coming in—but at this age you learn to love people and life. In my 70s I find you’re more relaxed, you take time, you can enjoy yourself, and it really becomes that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. The beauty is within. Our generation sees beauty within.
When I talk to the young ones, when I talk to you that makes me feel young darling. I’ve had three marriages so I’m passing this on to you: wait for the right one. A relationship where you share everything together.
What do you think makes people in their 70s more or less attractive than people in their 20s?
I don’t see that. I don’t compare because I love people, you see. I don’t have a critical spirit; I see the beauty in everyone. See us oldies, we’re here to share our stories with your generation. Can’t you see how I’m still young and why you won’t forget me? You’re not old when you're 75 because I don’t think old! I love the young, because it keeps me young!
Sally, 73, former short-hand typist
Do you find people in your age group attractive?
I suppose so, some of them.
Did you find your husband attractive right up until he passed?
Absolutely. We met when we were 14 and we used to swim a lot and he was a surfer, so he kept fit.
When you were growing older, was there a specific time you thought of him as sexy?
I always thought that about him, yeah.
Nowadays do you find younger or older people attractive?
I think most people are attractive really. But the most attractive quality about a person is the way they conduct themselves: whether they're polite or not.