Welcome to Koch Boyz, a column dedicated to whenever the Koch Brothers and any member of French Montana's Coke Boys crew do things at around the same. This week, the Democrats are doubling their efforts to make the venerable conservative icons look like a buncha dicks, launching a campaign to expose Republican Senate candidates Dan Sullivan and Mead Treadwell (HOLY SHIT is that a cool name) to a Koch-owned oil refinery. Their battle cry? "The G.O.P. is addicted to Koch."So, now that the Koch Boyz are the biggest conservative villains since, like, Snidley Whiplash, let's look at the original Coke Boys, a merry band of dealing-drugs-in-space-rap pranksters led by French "HAAAANH" Montana. French has gone from Max B second-banana to successfully rebranding as the world's most mumblecore super-mainstream rapper. His first step? Making a song with Jennifer Lopez.If for some reason you don't want to click "play" on that little YouTube video despite looking at a music site (nerd), this is probably the third-best song ever recorded. Think burbly Neocon yacht-pop as filtered through that beach club on 200th and Dykman uptown. It's essentially a song about how much French Montana and J-Lo love each other, which is a thing that I want to be real but is not. I give this song five conservative takedowns out of five.But what about the rest of the Coke Boys? What are a group that many (OK, pretty much only me) refer to as the modern-day Beatles up to? Welp, Chinx Drugz has rebranded as simply Chinx in an attempt to get on the radio or something, and Far Rock's finest since Stack Bundles is sorta killing shit. His single "Feelings" is getting some serious radio play, and tonight if you're in New York, you should leave whatever hipster enclave you probably live in and eschew your Whiskey-and-PBR combos to go to Raine tonight, where he'll be partying to celebrate the release of the remix of Dark's "Black Friday," featuring Chinx and Bodega Bamz.
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The track's a perfect slice of gritty, creeping stab-rap, and Chinx absolutely kills it, doubling his flow up and making a 40 Oz Van joke, which is pretty hilarious double entendre in context.Anyways, this concludes our first installment of Koch Boyz. I hope you enjoyed my jokes and the photoshop.Follow Drew on Twitter - @drewmillard