It's time, once again, to marvel at some idiots who don't know how to handle the world:
Cry-Baby #1: Richard Brittain
The incident: A writer got some negative feedback on something he'd written.
The appropriate response: Nothing.
The actual response: He traveled 500 miles to attack the teenage reviewer with a wine bottle.
In September of last year, 28-year-old Richard Brittain (pictured above) uploaded part of a book he'd written to Wattpad, an app that allows writers to post their work for others to critique.
One of the reviews of his work (which is described on Amazon as an "epic fairytale romance set in a semi-fictional ancient world") was by an 18-year-old named Paige Rolland. You can read her full review here, but the gist of it is that she thought the cover of the book was amateurish, and that Richard's writing was repetitive, unprofessional, and used the word "suddenly" too much.
Richard was, apparently, not a fan of this review. After taking to his blog to complain about the negative feedback he'd received, he managed to find Paige on Facebook.
He used her page to figure out that she worked at an Asda store in Glenrothes, Scotland. Richard then traveled 500 miles from his home near London to the Asda.
Once inside the store, he found Paige kneeling down, putting something on a low shelf. He struck her from behind with a wine bottle he'd gotten from the store's alcohol section. The blow gashed Paige's head and knocked her unconscious. According to Paige, Richard then silently left the store without saying a word.
Richard appeared in Glasgow Sheriff Court on Tuesday, where he pleaded guilty to assault charges. According to the Daily Mail, he also admitted to a stalking charge related to another woman. He will be sentenced at a later date.
Cry-Baby #2: Judge Scott Johansen
The incident: Two gay women fostered a kid.
The appropriate response: Nothing. Maybe buying them one of those "I love my moms" onesies if you're friends with them.
The actual response: A judge ordered that the child be removed from their household and re-homed with heterosexual parents.
Thirty-four-year-old Beckie Peirce and her 38-year-old wife April Hoagland (pictured above) of Carbon County, Utah, fostered a baby girl three months ago. She is currently nine months old.
The couple has been asked to adopt the baby by her biological mother. They are also raising two other children, aged 12 and 14, who are the biological children of Beckie.
On Tuesday of this week Judge Scott Johansen ordered that the baby be taken from their care. He cited research that "children do better in heterosexual homes" as the reason for his decision. According to the Salt Lake Tribune, he refused to provide details of the research when asked to by attorney's from the Utah Division of Child and Family Services and the Guardian Ad Litem Office.
This is not the first time Judge Scott has been a massive dickhead towards people in his court. According to a roundup of his previous heinousness on US News and World Report, he has previously forced a mother to cut off her daughter's hair in the courtroom, sent a teen to a juvenile detention facility for having a poor report card, and slapped the 16-year-old son of his friend.
The couple plans to fight the judge's decision. "We love her and she loves us, and we haven't done anything wrong," Beckie told the Salt Lake Tribune. In the meantime, the Department of Child and Family Services is seeking a temporary alternative home for the baby.
During a press conference, Utah governor Gary Herbert said he was "puzzled" by the judge's decision. "He may not like the law, but he should follow the law. We don't want to have activism on the bench in any way, shape or form," he said.
Who here is the bigger cry-baby? Let us know in this poll down here, please:
Winner: The Applebee's woman!!!
Follow Jamie Lee Curtis Taete on Twitter.