We’re Allowed to Eat Cheese Now

Great news for anyone willing to change their diet according to whatever study goes briefly viral on the internet: we’re allowed to eat cheese now. Cheese, a food that is comprised entirely of fat and typically appears as a gooey topping on pizzas or as a fine orange dust on Cheetos, is fine. And actually good for you! Cheese is good for you, up is down, left is right, scientists can really do or say whatever they want.

The Sun reports on a study from Soochow University in Suzhou, China that claims eating 40 grams of cheese per day can slash the chances of developing heart disease by a “staggering” 14 percent. Contrary to literally anything you’ve ever read about high amounts of cholesterol fatally clogging up arteries, researchers found that a cheese-rich diet is good for your heart and will not lead to a painful, early, but somewhat worth it, given how delicious cheese is, early death.

“Cheese contains saturated fatty acids but also has potentially beneficial nutrients,” the scientists told the tabloid. “This study suggests an inverse association between cheese and health.” Covering themselves, the researchers also admitted that it is “unclear how long-term consumption affects the development of cardiovascular disease.”

To come to this conclusion, the research team collated data from 15 cheese-centric studies from Europe and the US—taking into account the health of roughly 200,000 people from around the world.

A British study from Reading University made a similar finding earlier this year, claiming that the high calcium content in cheese counterbalances its high amount of saturated fat—and suggesting that the calcium in cheese might actually help the body metabolise this saturated fat.

Your sad grilled cheese dinner just got less shameful, I guess. Sometimes the post-truth era has its upsides.

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