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Eat Your Face For Breakfast With "Toaster Selfies"

A novelty device lets you print selfies on your whole wheat, and we made a list of five faces you should eat for breakfast.

by Andrew Nunes
15 July 2014, 4:10pm

Ah, I love my millennial morning. I wake up, check my Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Weather, Horoscope, and WebMD for that weird red spot that's still on my head. Then, I proceed to eat my oatmeal while checking other distracting things on my phone. And, of course, while I drink my OJ I take a selfie of my half-asleep face.

Thankfully The Vermont Novelty Toaster Corporation is aware of the need to take a morning selfie (especially if my hair looks good, or my clothing choice is on point), and has made Toasted Selfies, a machine that prints selfies, or any other image of your choosing, onto your morning slice of whole wheat. 

The novelty device offers the perfect chance to truly integrated that morning pic into your routine, but why stop at eating a photo of yourself? We’ve brainstormed a few extra options of familiar faces you can and should eat in the morning, thanks to this wonderful technology.

1) Eat Yourself

Looking good this morning? Really digest this self-love with a picture of yourself looking your best on your morning toast and scarf it down. Note: this is the best way to see how you'd look with a tan. 

2) Al Roker (or any weather forecaster)

What do you do if the weather forecast says it is going to be a beautiful day, then right as you are coming back from work a terrible downpour joins your commute home? How can you really get back at Roker or other meteorologist? Now, you can eat a picture of the weatherman who made a promise he couldn't keep.

3) Cap’n Crunch

Every morning you see the good ‘ol Cap’n with the biggest smile on his face. Why is he so energetic? Is he having a sugar rush from his own cereal? Tone him down a peg by eating him, hat and all.

4) Toast

If you are having a particularly existential morning, try doubling your toast dosage by printing an image of a piece of toast on your toast. You get to eat two pieces for the same caloric value as one. Meta-toast is truly a next-level meal. 

5) Richard Prince

As we recently covered, the legendary appropriation artist has been making prints of other people's Instagram photos. Why not give him a taste of his own medicine and appropriate him (or his Instagram page). Let him know that two can play this game, all while you eat your delicious toast.

Looking for other ways to spice up your breakfast routine? Check out The Vermont Novelty Toaster Corporation’s other insane creations.

h/t Design Taxi


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