Noisey 2018

65 Objectively Good Things That Happened in 2018

Every year is bad now. But these things got us through 2018.

by Noisey Staff
28 December 2018, 5:28pm

Illustration by Alex Gamsu Jenkins

In case it hasn’t become clear yet, every year from here on out is just going to get worse. There’s no reversing it at this point. We’re on the downslide of civilization, friends. And while it’s a lamentable tragedy, there are still occasional, fleeting moments of joy to be found in our deteriorating world. And when you find them, you must grab ahold and never let go. Cherish them. Treasure your, dumb stupid little moments—the ones that make you laugh through the tears. They are all we have left. Here is a list of the things we thought were good this year.

Gritty Hatching


Cardi B Twerking at Coachella While Pregnant


This Guy Feverishly Sucking Toes in Traffic


The Wu-Tang Tiny Desk Concert in Which Young Dirty Bastard Stood on the Desk


Our Exposé on the Tiny Desk Not Actually Being That Tiny


Elon Musk Getting Himself Removed as the CEO of His Company Over a Weed Tweet


Mike Francesa’s Touching Reaction to Stan Lee Dying


Rihanna (and Most Artists) Sending Trump Cease and Desist Letters


Another Year of Danny DeVito Being Alive and Well


A Star Is Born Memes (But Not Necessarily the Movie)


The Expansion of Our Office Hot Sauce Collection


None of Us Winning Ice-T’s Dumbfuck of the Day Award


The Warped Tour Ending


John McCain Getting the Solemn and Dignified Tribute His Death Deserved


Ric Flair Getting Married for the Fifth Time


Young Thug Sending Us a Snake (Even Though the Snake Eventually Died, RIP)


Noisey Editor in Chief Eric Sundermann Getting Yelled at by an Army of Katy Perry Fans for Something Our Staff Wrote Online


Eric Sundermann Getting an Angry Phone Call from Jack White for Something Our Staff Wrote Online


Eric Sundermann Getting Pranked with a Fart Machine That Our Staff Spent Good Money On


Eric Sundermann Quitting Noisey


Luke from the Dirty Nil’s Tone Tips


The “Punch Up the Jam” Episode About “LA Woman” by the Doors


Tha Carter V Finally Getting Released


Jonathan Chait Getting BOFAed


The Patent on Teledildonics Expiring


When Goku RIP’d Aretha Franklin


Bill Cosby Going to Jail


Michael Cohen Going to Jail


Paul Manafort Going to Jail


This Young Baseball Player Who Listed His Favorite Actor as Johnny Sins


Papa John Getting Fired for Racism and Bad Pizza, Probably


This Lemon That Rolled for a Really Long Time


The Yodel Kid Having a Debut Single


The FBI Agent Who Shot Someone While Dancing


Steve Albini Winning a Title on the World Series of Poker


Trey Smoking Out of a Crab


Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Cardi B’s Online Friendship


The Kid Who Said “Gucci Gang” a Million Times for Charity


Migos Doing the First Ever Good Episode of “Carpool Karaoke”


Mr. Mime in the Detective Pikachu Trailer


This Vegan Fight


Drake’s Grills in the “In My Feelings” Video


“You Are Hiding a Child”


Polo Bringing Back Their Snow Beach Collection


All the Dumbshits Who Lit Their Nikes on Fire


Smash Mouth Reminding Everyone of the Virtues of Eating Pussy


Celebrating Another Festive Vore Day


Beyoncé's Coachella Performance


Carly Rae Jepsen Finally Getting Her Sword


When Noisey Editor Colin Joyce Won Two Games of Fortnite in a Row [Citation Missing]


Having No Stake Whatsoever in the Eminem/Machine Gun Kelly Beef


Kendrick Winning a Pulitzer


Idris Elba Winning Sexist Man Alive


When Tierra Whack Took Over Our Instagram and the First Thing She Did Was Post a Photo of Her Turds


Nick Cave Getting a Very Odd Statue of Himself in a Small Australian Town


Our Office Receptionist Sally Earning a Spot on Our Songs of the Year List with Her Hit Song "I Have Had Sex with All My Dolls"


Liam Gallagher Talking to Kids


The Guy Who Got Mauled by a Bear, Bitten by a Rattlesnake and Then Attacked by a Shark


Donald Trump Jr.’s Wife Leaving Him Because He Tweets Too Much


The Very Nice Realization That Next Year Will Bring Us the 69th Edition of Now That’s What I Call Music


Weezer Meeting the Demands of the Internet and Covering “Africa”


Will Smith’s “In My Feelings” Challenge


Cat Power's Cover of Rihanna's "Stay"


SonicFox at the Game Awards Saying, “I’m a Gay, Black, Furry and I’m the Best E-sports Player in the World.”


Sleep. Sweet, Sweet Sleep

This article originally appeared on Noisey US.