10 Things I Love About Clubbing in Miami

“Party in the city where the heat is on.” – Will Smith

Apr 12 2015, 1:33am

The rest of America looks at Miami funny, regarding this city as nothing more than a retirement community, gay beach, or "spraaang break paradise bitches!" (Ugh.) Miami is weird. But when you think "P. Diddy music video" or "Pitbull on an average Thursday," you know what you see—those palm trees and oiled-up butts could belong nowhere else but Miami. When I think about it, Miami is kind of the perfect place to party, and here are ten reasons why.

10. Weed Is Everywhere

"And this is only the shit they caught.

Florida just flubbed the chance to get medical marijuana in November, great job guys. Maybe this epic fuck-up happened because of the less than 40 percent voter turnout in Miami Dade County? More likely: we just weren't motivated to vote because we already smoke mad nugs in the club—any club—whenever we want.

9. We're America's Ibiza

Winter Music Conference has been around since 1985, and Ultra Music Festival was founded in 1999. That means Miami was a dance music capital when Detroit rappers were running around yelling about how "nobody listens to techno." If EDM was an internet forum, we'd be the ones shouting "first!" Miami is basically America's Ibiza, and that counts for South America, too. When DJs pay us a visit, they know to bring their tightest game.

8. You Always Know What to Expect

This is LIV. It's always LIV. If you don't want to go to LIV, you don't have to.

When you head out in the 305, you know exactly what you're going to get. Every club promoter knows their place, and when you find a club you like, you can trust the programming any given night. This is great for the clubber venturing out in search of something reliably good. It's also great for the promoter who finds a loyal fanbase. Win-win.

7. Everything's All In One Place

Miami-Dade is a large county, but Magic City is pretty small. If you're looking for a party, you need only head to the downtown area or South Beach. From strip clubs to all-night house dens, dingy bass hideaways to swanky socialite atmospheres—everything is collected nice and tight in a ten-square-mile radius (and that's even a generous figure).

6. Musical Variety

Photo via Thesupermaniak

Miami is not a one-note song. Whether you're looking for hip-hop, house, punk, reggae, techno, jazz, Caribbean, disco, bass, Afro-Cuban rhythms, or any flavor of EDM, we've got hit-makers coming in and home-grown talent to envy. We're a true bouquet of beats, if you will. As long as it makes you dance, we're down.

5. The WMC/MMW Double Header

Beatport Pool Party at the Winter Music Conference 2009. (Photo via Wikipedia Commons)

For one week every year, Miami is turned into the hottest dance music mecca in the world. Trends are born, stars are made, and brain cells are utterly destroyed right on our beautiful beaches. Winter Music Conference has been at this for 30 years. Miami Music Week is here to stay. Even Ultra Music Festival is too big to fail. Sleep is great and all, but the end of March is absolutely our favorite time of year.

4. This is What Miami Looks Like Every Day:

Oh, you had to put on seven layers and face "toque hair" to go outside? That sucks. I haven't worn pants in about a year. Miami is 90 degrees and perfect pretty much all year long. Tanning beds are redundant. Even when it rains, that shit clears up in about ten minutes. BRB, Diddy's throwing another island party.

3. Bedtimes Are Just Suggestions

These streets stay busy until the sun comes up.

Is it Tuesday? Do you want the club to go up until 5AM? In Miami, that's not a problem—thanks to our party-hard culture and loose closing hours. Unlike the rest of the country, raves that start on Saturday night frequently stretch all the way till noon on Sunday. And yes, they still serve beer past 4AM. In these parts, the alcohol is as plentiful as the café con leche and "bedtimes" are mere suggestions. It's almost too easy to get carried into a 24-hour party system. You've been warned.

2. Cuban Food


Good god, never be that person who leaves the club and hits Taco Bell. There are so many late-night food options here that blows that Chihuahua crap out of the water. From La Sandwicherie in South Beach to hole-in-the-wall diners run by generations of Cuban families, why do you think they named a sweet Cuban "media noche"?

1. Cultural Revolution

Wynwood is one of Miami's most exciting new frontiers and stands as an example of what local interest and hard work can do.

Growing up, Miami was a place you ran away from to find more opportunities. But such is no longer the case. A new generation of Miamians is choosing to stay, and dedicating themselves to fostering a new sense of community and creativity. We're colorful and loud, and we're not like the rest of the country. the food, the imports, the music, the people, the attitude—Miami is just fresh. It's our time to shine, and since we've got about 50 years until the sea swallows us whole, we're making it count.

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