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Jose Fernandez Moonbeams a Pitch in Possible Assassination Attempt on Marlins Man

Jose Fernandez now owns Miami like Tony Montana. You are not his little friend, Marlins Man.

by Patrick Sauer
30 July 2016, 12:39am

Last night, Miami Marlins ace Jose Fernandez uncorked a doozy of a moonbeam after the home plate ump bailed mid-windup. The announcers chuckled, and everyone said to themselves in their inner-Uecker voice, "just a bit outside." ("Un poco afuera" for the Marlins large Spanish-speaking fan contingency.)

Sure, it seems like a minor bit of fun in the dog days, but we see what Jose Fernandez was really doing. He was sending a message to Marlins Man.

Now that Dwyane Wade has left Southern Florida building, it's Jose's town. Sure, Fernandez only lasted five innings in taking his second home loss, 5-4 to the Cardinals, but the young Cuban fireballer had a bigger fish to fry last night. Following baseball's storied unwritten rule of "always bean the rich guy behind home plate in the unsightly uniform if he fancies himself the key cog in an organization," Fernandez tossed it over the net. Marlins Man flinched.

(This is the part where we acknowledge that Marlins Man, aka Laurence Leavy in his legal briefs, does nice things for workaday fans, but he also recently equated Indians fans with Nazis and dropped a "japs" to describe the "WAR" they started. But both Tweets are less unctuous than that stupid Q-Bert looking visor.)

Jose Fernandez now owns Miami like Tony Montana. You are not his little friend, Marlins Man. Oh and Mr. The Rock, if you take in a game, sit in the Anderson Financial luxury box. A pitcher never knows when one of those fastballs is going to get away from him.

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