Jordan Foisy

Essays

I Hadn't Seen My Addict Father in Years—Then I Ran Into Him on the Street

I spotted my dad hanging out in a sketchy alley in my hometown. He didn't even recognize me when I introduced myself.
Jordan Foisy
8.13.19
Work

What Everyone Does When They're Bored at Work

When you’re bored and underpaid, sometimes taking a long dump is the only respite.
Jordan Foisy
5.21.19
Culture

What I Learned at the 'Debate' Between Jordan Peterson and Slavoj Žižek

Žižek was less a cognizant thinker and more a pathological sacred cow tipper while Peterson was a bard for the reactionary elite and emo as hell.
Jordan Foisy
4.24.19
Views My Own

Now That I Know the World is Doomed, Should I Get Into Advertising?

I’ve marched against climate change. I’ve read Naomi Klein. What else can I do?
Jordan Foisy
3.28.19
Essays

I Thought I Had Herpes for Two Years

I really should have gotten a second opinion.
Jordan Foisy
5.14.18
Money

All the Bonkers, Evil Shit I Saw at a Wealth Expo Featuring Sylvester Stallone

I was sad because this cult of money shit works. Then Pitbull showed up.
Jordan Foisy
4.12.18
Culture

The Ultimate Haunted House Tour For the 21st Century Human

Prepare to be horrified.
Jordan Foisy
10.26.17
#winning

A Guide to Being an Average Student by a Perfectly Average Student

Take it from me, I owe $45,000 to the government and I tell jokes for a job.
Jordan Foisy
9.11.17
Hangovers

Bacon Won’t Save You: A Semi-Scientific Guide to the Best Hangover Cures

Some of these might come in handy.
Jordan Foisy
3.17.17
Features

The Guilt of the Oldest Brother

I couldn’t protect my brothers from my dad, so what good was I?
Jordan Foisy
2.2.17
Stuff

What Happened When I Used an App to Try to Cure My Premature Ejaculation Issues

Yes, I gamified all my shameful orgasms.
Jordan Foisy
12.6.16
Stuff

I Watched Eight Hours of Steven Seagal Movies to Understand America

What does the 90s' mumbling, fourth-rate action star say about the country and me?
Jordan Foisy
10.26.16
0102